Don't Save My Life

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Willa

Even in the car with the heat turned up, felt a small chill. I wrapped my arms around myself, unable to lift my eyes from my lap. We were pulling out of Lyle’s neighborhood when I found the courage to speak.

“Emmet, you have to let me explain.” I was surprised when my voice didn’t betray me.

He didn’t reply. His knuckles were firm on the steering wheel, his jaw clenched. His smooth candy colored eyes didn’t move from the empty road ahead.

“I,” I swallowed involuntarily. “I promised Daisy I wouldn’t tell anyone about the baby.”

Before I could finish, the car had skidded to a stop on the side of the road. Emmet faced me now, the fierceness in his eyes like nothing I’d ever seen from him.

“This isn’t about Daisy! Dammt Willa, why does everything have to go back to her? I understand you lost your friend. Worst, she lost my niece or nephew that I didn’t even know existed! But she’s alive Willa! You’re best friend is alive somewhere and you are still living like you never survived that day with us!”

“Because I shouldn’t have!” I shouted back, my voice feeling raw before I’d even begun. “I pissed my dad off that day! I was the straw that broke the camel’s back. If I hadn’t shouted at him and told him where I was going it would have never happened!”

I could feel a tear running down my cheek but I was too angry to wipe it away. “You act like everything is perfect, like nothing’s wrong but you know it is. I am the reason your brother ran away, I’m the reason you lost your memory and he lost a child. A helpless unborn baby.”

I couldn’t go on, my voice breaking into sobs now.

“You know what? Screw you Emmet. You don’t even want to understand.”

I opened the door and got out of the car, slamming it behind me. The crisp breeze made my warm tears feel like steam against my cheeks. I heard Emmet get out of the car but he didn’t follow me this time as I made my way to the tree filled area on the side of the road.

I didn’t know how long it had been before I decided I was too cold. I stood up on numb legs, wondering if Emmet had driven away a long time ago. It wasn’t like I didn’t deserve it. It didn’t take long of sitting in self-pity for me to realize how selfish I’d been. He’d lost just as much as me that day, his life was changed just like mine.

I walked blindly until I emerged from the trees to see the shadow of his car still parked in the same space. I took a breath before going approaching it, where I saw him seated on the hood. I took apprehensive steps towards him. He was faced down, looking into his hands.

“I’m sorry.” I squeaked, watching him through the puff of steam that rose from my words.

He didn’t look up.

This time I came close enough so that I was leaning on the hood next to him.

“Please.”

He spoke now; his voice was that of someone who’d been injured in battle. The sadness hadn’t come from tears but rather holding in thoughts and emotions that poisoned you like a cancer and at the same time, made him seem stronger.

“Am I going to lose you too Willa?”

I didn’t know what he was saying, but he continued before I could utter a word. He looked up at me now, his eyes burning into mine.

“Tell me now.” He demanded. “ Am I going to lose you too?”

Suddenly my mind and heart were both shouting at me at the same time. Each registering something different; leading me or pulling me in one direction or the other. It was like being pulled by your hair by two strong handed people on opposite ends. Either way I succumbed to, I’d end it in pain, and loosing something.

“No.” I said abruptly, for the first time ignoring every other sense in my body.

This time he slid off the car, never taking his eyes off of me. That same ferocity was still there. That anger and passion he’d hidden so long.

“I can’t believe you. You have to say it again.”

“What?”

“Promise me.” He forced, taking my hands in his. Even in the chilled weather his palms were comforting warmth against mine.  “Promise me I won’t lose you.”

I swallowed, unable to remove my eyes from his.

“I promise.”

As I spoke the words the entire world seemed to fall into a silence. Not even the sound of my heartbeat thumping against my chest could be heard above my words that I’d felt I’d spoken lower than a whisper.

He nodded, and suddenly, I was released by his stare. Just as we broke eye contact I realized his eyes had fallen onto my lips. Before I could register, his lips had drifted down on mine.

I could feel his heart thumping rapidly against my own until they were almost beating in unison. I didn’t let my mind wander on what to do, I just followed along as he traced the outlines of my mouth with his, turning my head to the side when I suddenly felt the timidness melt away with him being so near.

A car drove by as it happened, the low beams casting a spotlight on us before leaving us in the unnoticed dark but just as the sound of its wheel’s disappeared, we were interrupted by another sound. I felt a slight buzz when I realized my cell phone had started ringing in Emmett’s pocket.

He pulled away our connection breaking back into the chilly winter rode. He slid the phone from his pocket apologetically. He handed it to me but before he did his expression dropped, looking at the name of the caller ID. With the name and number was also a photo of me and the caller, our cheeks pressed together as we cheesed at the camera.

This was the worst time ever, but still I answered, and Emmet watched me with an unreadable expression.

 “Payton, this really isn’t the time.”

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Heh heh, I bet you thought I'd never add that kisss cene in xD Sorry it took so long to get to the point guys. To all of you who got to this point, thank you so much for sticking it out with me! So what do you think will come next. Was this kiss just a mistake? Is Willa too messed up to let anyone love her? Will they live happily ever after?