Sometimes I just want to give up this pretence. I cannot hold up my façades any longer. This world is full of people who want to hurt you, trouble you, make you fall, see you fail just for their amusement. I can't trust people even on petty things anymore. The world out there cannot see you prosper. It tortures you till you want to – no, plead to, beg to- die, just for a moment of sick amusement. Relations, friendships are hollow words just like the souls of people who speak of them. The only things that matter are thoughtfully made acquaintances, shrewd policies and your proficiency at lying. That is why I hold my facades up. What the world doesn't know, won't hurt me. I wonder if I will be able to keep up with this game for long.
I do not understand why people have to be so vicious. It's almost as if all humanity they hold has been sucked out from them. This world feels as if it is full of zombies driven by the need to collect strips of papers. Some people call it money. They go to worlds ends to collect it. Never do they pay attention whether the means they are using are right or not. Honesty here is a long forgotten myth, sincerity, a distant dream. I want to stop myself from entangling further in this horrid, horrid web. However I have already begun my descent down this vicious circle.
However the worst part of living in a pretentious world is that it kills me to see innocent people being forced to be someone they aren't. Someone they do not wish to be. These endless lies hurt me and shatter my already broken heart into a million more pieces. Yes, after all this time of surviving on lies, they still hurt me, no matter how significant or insignificant lies they are. Don't tell me it's pathetic - I already know it is, and for the matter, so am I. It just enrages me to be taken as a fool and be lied to. Do I really seem that gullible? You know, I am calling people who deceive sick, but in reality, I am as sick too. I act as if I believe peoples lies all the times. It gives me a sick kind of amusement to see till what extent the lies go. And the worst thing is seeing people who you normally trust fib blatantly to your face, acting as if they are your well-wishers. Well too bad for you, I can actually see the crap you are so full of without you knowing about it.
However, now I am done. Like, done for ever. I don't think I can take this anymore. I fail to see a point in living in a world governed by shameless untruths. I refuse to worship deception as god. I am at that point now where death seems to be the only true thing, the only escape, the only respite. I hope death is not a lie as well.
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Speculations
RandomThis is a collection of write-ups done by me. You've been warned though : I'm just a beginner. Don't expect a good, mistake free book. And, please don't copy my creations. And yes, my write-ups contain a lot of sad themes.
