Speculations

The Final Frontier.

They say that time heals all wounds. But does it really? Can time heal the wounds left behind by vicious deception? Can time truly make the scars on our backs fade away as if they were not there in the first place? Can it tend to those wounds which are not on the body, not on the soul either, but on the spirit, the very spirit which drives us to live? The passage of time is only that- the passage of time, nothing less, nothing more. That is why certain things hurt as much as they would have hurt, say, six years ago or nine years ago, and they will continue to hurt so in the coming years as well. Time cannot make us forget the pain or the humiliation from which we have suffered. What then, you may ask, can be the salve for these wounds?

The answer is forgiveness. I know it is simple and yet difficult to comprehend, but that is the only path. It hurts because we still haven't fully come to terms with what has happened. We're still too stubborn to let go, aren't we? To let the wound be alright, don't we have to stop rubbing it?  But aren't we somewhere deep within, nursing our bruised egos too? But what most fail to understand is that forgiving is not bowing down, and neither is it something which makes you holier than the next person. Forgiveness is just an act of compassion which gives both parties a form of closure, a sense of finality, and, with it, much needed relief. We give our scars far too much importance, more importance than what we give to moving on. Forgiving the persons who have caused you pain is a really good first step to making the wounds hurt less. Which also means that you'll have to have multiple encounters with people you specifically don't want to meet, while thinking about events you specifically wouldn't like to think about-an unpleasant fact. Of course, it won't be an instantaneous process, or an easy one at that, but it will still be of help.

And lastly, when you're done forgiving people who have scorned you, you'll have to make a confrontation. Now I know most people do not like confrontations, but this particular confrontation will not be a public one. It will be with oneself, in one's own mind. We'll have to forgive ourselves for not being strong, for letting others walk over us, for letting ourselves be bullied, for not recognising the signs, for being stupid, for letting our defences down. We'll have to forgive our cowardice, our idiocy, our recklessness and our worthlessness.

Because forgiveness can actually heal. Because forgiveness indicates you're no longer vulnerable. Because now you're actually past your suffering. Because you now know that the same thing cannot take you down again. Because forgiveness is not always about being the greater person, it might also be for your own strength, your own peace, your own well-being. Because forgiveness says that you aren't afraid to say those three words.

I forgive you.