The Demons We Found

2.11 February 3 2007

Jaime and I were sharing food from a street fair that was coming through town, walking across the dirt and gravel that connected the concessions to the games and small rides. "You know, I played this carnival our senior year."

"I did know that. I ran into you. It was early that year though, before Christmas." I told him. I barely knew Jaime's name back then, but he had physically walked into Vic and I dancing. It seems ironic to me now.

"Yeah it was." He looked like he was wracking his memory.

"So, I know that talking about this doesn't seem like a lot of fun, but I think we owe it to ourselves to at least try and avoid this happening again." I told him nervously. I don't want to start a fight, but something needs to be said.

Jaime just nodded and pointed over to a picnic table that didn't have anyone sitting on it. He sat down on the table part and took my hand so that I could get up without letting anyone see up my skirt. I sat beside him and took a deep breath. "So, where do we start?"

I wasn't sure really. I'd played this conversation over and over in my head, but it had gone differently each time, and rarely did it all end pretty. "I guess I should tell you everything that happened back then, and then now. Then, you can tell me everything from your side and we can figure out what went wrong."

"I don't want you to tell me anything unless you want to. This can't be something that you'll be mad over later." He warned me.

I shook my head, "I won't be. I didn't want to tell you because I thought you would just call me broken and leave."

"I could never do that." Jaime hunched himself close to me and I was surprised at how hurt he looked.

"I know that now." I put a hand on his knee, "So this starts back when I was four."

He chuckled, and I did the same. The story isn't as long as this all sounded. He was probably not expecting my whole life story, but that's how far this one goes.

I decided to give him the highlights: "My abuela died and my dad didn't take it too well. He started drinking, but it didn't get bad until I was older- probably like, somewhere in middle school, I guess. Anyway, my mom met Rod-"

"Who the hell is Rod?" Jaime asked, clearly confused.

I laughed, "That's my step-dad. Right after they got married, they moved to Texas because he got some promotion there. Anyway, my mom cheated- that's how I got a stepdad- so my bio dad started drinking way more. They got divorced, and I decided to stay at El Capitan just for graduation. Then, I got involved as SDSU and met Vic, so I stayed."

"You abandoned your mom for a boy?" Jaime raised his eyebrows.

It sounds bad when you say it like that. Especially to someone who values family as much as Hime does. "I had been without her for years by then. I thought my dad needed me more. He owns his own company so sometimes the alcohol can be problematic for things like a mortgage. Without my mom to soften that blow, there were some rough months."

"This is still in high school? We were all concerned about acne and shows, and your dad was at home drinking and beating you? That's like a bad movie." Jaime looked disgusted.

I corrected him quickly. "No, he never hit me. Not even once. Mike has hit me more in alcohol-hazes than my dad ever did."

"Mike hit you?" Jaime snapped.

"Yes. No, we'll get there. Anyway, one day I was playing piano while my dad was trying to sleep. He was too drunk to make it up to his bed, so I helped him up the steps and he made it, but I fell. I busted my hand. He didn't realize it at the time. I called Vic to take me to the hospital, and I moved in with him and Mike the day after. Mike and I were actually friends, almost, through all of this. He was dating Linds and we got along really well." I explained.