You've lost track of since when you started doing this, masquerading your way through the days that passed by, hoping no one would notice. Sadness is not your usual thing, it never was. You constantly deny it, but some part in you fear what the outcome would be if someone ever found out.
You feel the need to stay strong, to be who they thought you are. You feel like showing your true colors would make you seem weak, and you don't want to look weak because you had someone to protect. You've made up your mind to always prioritize their needs before yours.
Anger;Happiness;Surprise;Rage; But out of all the options, your sadness will be the one to always be kept in the dark. You don't feel the need for anyone to know what you really felt; with the fear that it would bring more trouble. You mask it with all kind of things; snark, anger, pranks, jokes, sarcasm; and all kinds of things.
You can deny its existence all you want, but you know deep inside that some part of you wants to be able to sweep away your fear and let them know. You wished you could toss away the mask you've been wearing and reach out to them;
But a wish is just a wish, never to come true.
