shameless | z.m

[3] the party & the after party

I followed Abel's lead, holding tight onto his hand throughout the crowd, the paps flashing their cameras into our faces, we had to make our way into the after party celebration; which I had a guilty conscience for but I had been waiting for this breakup for months now.

Most of the night I followed Gi around as she was quite the social butterfly, I was trying to enjoy myself despite what was to come. Not to mention me and Evan planned the breakup to be during the goodnight speech.

"Bels, come over here! Jello shots! Remember those?"
"Gi you go for it-I need to-" I motioned down to my pant area and she quickly nodded and thumbed me up. Nice strategy to get away from these fake ass people that try way too hard.

Since when does she drink- not to mention she's not legal yet (who actually cares) but I noticed as I passed through the crowds, waving to some, that her infamous boyfriend hadn't showed yet; probably one of the reasons.

I stared at my reflection; half my eye makeup was on my cheeks. How hot was this honestly, a half dead chick.
A group of girls walked out of one stall, all drunk as hell; I smiled to them as one of them I recognized. Was that Anwar's girlfriend?
Then I remembered she was like 19; what a little pimp my brother is.

Sighing, I cleaned up my undereyes. Tonight is bound to be eventful; as I peaked outside, people started to leave. It was time.
Just as I got my shit together, my phone started violently buzzing in my clutch.
Evan. Fuck, what now?

Hesitantly, I picked up.
"Yes, what is it?"
"Bella, did you speak to Abel yet-? please-"
"No. Why? What now?"
"Don't do it. Just listen to me. I spoke to-"

"Evan, are you fucking kidding me? Do you know how long I've waited to do this? I need to be myself, I haven't been okay for months and you-"
"Just listen. Think- at his after party? I know we went over the breakup, the date & the time, but we need to push this back a few weeks. Please don't be mad- I spoke to his management and even they agreed how devastated he'd be! He just won a fucking Grammy! Not to mention the speech you made at his Grammy acceptance warmed everyone's heart..Realize how insensitive it is..I know you're a good person so understand his position. I'm not asking you to be kind with him either. Just understanding. He loves you a lot."

I swallow the huge ball that formed in my throat; the burning sensation arised to my eyes again.
I hung up and titled my head backwards as I shut my eyes for a few seconds.
Another "few weeks"? That could be months, maybe even a year in Evan's book...

Don't get me wrong, Abel is great but I had to pretend to be someone I'm not throughout the best times of my life that I can't get back, and the more I thought of this, the more I felt like I was wasting my life which is one of my worst fears. Living without purpose. I passed up so many opportunities to be with family and live my life so I could publicize my career.. and a wise person once told me that when you get into this shit you never get out of it.
I felt trapped and it wasn't worth the limelight you accumulate overtime.

I guess I had no choice; now all I had to do was cope and drink the disappointment away.

-

"Bella, I'm going home okay? Look at me- look at me.."
Gigi's voice progressively angered me; this was probably my 5th glass of whiskey if I could still count. I very rarely drink because I actually despise it; it's reserved for special occasions.

Her cold finger pressed against my jaw, forcing me to direct my blurry vision to her face.
"Just go, I'll be fine please don't worry- where's everyone?" I replied.
"Everybody left pretty much. Do you need me to call you a cab?"
I shook my head sloppily, making me more dizzy.
"Fuck no." I laughed. Shit am I obnoxious when tipsy.

Gi furrowed her brows but she seemed tipsy aswell. I waved to her as she left the entrance with her bodyguard guy...Pablo is that you?

I plopped my heavy head onto my hand as I leaned my elbow on the glass bar counter.
"Another, please mister." I insisted, as I shook my empty glass in the air.
He was probably just giving me water at this point. I don't blame him though.

"Heyyyy, so wanna go home with me tonight?"
I joked, leaning forward onto the counter.
He awkwardly smiled. Which meant no.
"I'm kidding, I- uh, I love the Weekend, Abel, you know him? Well apparently I do love him. That's how it is in this world. Do you ever feel this way- like you're trapped? Like it is my fault at the same time but not you know, because-ugh."

I was interrupted in my inspirational talk by a warm palm clutched on my shoulder. I shifted to see what it looked like. A tattooed hand. The person behind me smelt fucking good too. Or maybe it was the alcohol. Probably the latter.

I squinted to narrow my vision as I spun my stool to reveal quite the attractive male; what I could see in the dark at least. His tattoos aesthetically splattered around his arms, his features were dark and lean, one of an intimidating, soulful man. I'm intrigued. Most probably of oriental decent I could tell as he approached his face to the dim light of the bar.

I cleared my throat, slowly recognizing the face in front of me.

"Do you need something from me?" I tried saying in the least obnoxious way possible.
"Hey, um. Have you seen Gigi Hadid? She's-"

I laughed. "Gigi? Who's that?"
I joked, obviously.
He lifted one eyebrow, chuckling as he started backing off the bar area.
"Wait, Bella, right?" He shifted back around, signaling his car to wait.
"No. I'm- yes actually. Bel is better."
"You're Gigi's sister."
"No, really? I almost forgot. I'm guessing you're the generous, loving, caring, rebellious, tattooed boy friend of hers. Lucky for you she left because she would've made a scene.. you're like 5 hours late."
I continued to smile at him as I told him off; obviously I knew he was Zayn; I'm not that drunk. Yet. But fuck was he hot. Gi definitely picks them daddy as hell. Pretending I didn't know who he was was getting to him considering the furrow between his brows.
"As you can tell, you haven't quite passed the sister test." I cringed. I probably sounded so spoilt and condescending. Blame the whiskey.

He started fidgeting with his phone. I quickly put my hand on top of his; his eyes fixated on mine once the tension sprung through both our veins. It felt nice, and warm.
"In case you were going to call me a cab or tell Gi that I need help, I'm perfectly fine on my own. See that bartender? He takes care of me real good." I stated, winking to the cranky man cleaning the bar who didn't respond whatsoever.

He chuckled, showing his deep laugh lines form, complimenting his strong facial features even more. Who has a stubble like that?
Evan could kill me right now.
I noticed my leg twirling around his leather boot, accidentally. He noticed it too but didn't make an effort to push back, but slowly smirked as he shook his head, lighting a cigarette he calmly pulled out his coat.

"You're not fine, let's get going Bella, or Bel is it?.." His deep accent gave me chills as it echoed throughout my ear, his breath smelling like soft tobacco.
Why am I so horny? This is why I don't drink often oh my god..or I just haven't gotten good D in a while.
He clutched me by the waist, lifting me up the stool, his warm tattooed fingers printed against my bare thigh.
"This feels nice." I subconsciously mumbled, causing him to shift where he was clutching me from.
My heartbeat slowly increased which made me uncomfortable so I decided to shut my mouth at that point.

"Time to go home now." Was the last thing I heard before I succumbed to my headache and shut my eyes.
I decided not to fight back because I'm grown 18 year old girl, going home was probably what is best.