Live Laugh Levi

Chapter Fifteen

When I got home I sat on the edge of the stairs debating whether I wanted to cry, scream or throw up. The air was thick outside and on my way home walking I had overheated myself and my head started to hurt. I kept trying to stop myself from crying. I really cared about foster. I threw myself on top of my bed, not even my cuts and scratched could stop me from wallowing in my self-pity and pile of blankets. Three sharp knocks on my door sounded, I didn't even want to answer it.

"Honey?" My mom chimed.

"Mom?" I called from my bed. She cracked open my door.

"Are you alright? I heard you come in and you don't look too good," she concurred.

"I'm fine I think," I answered.

"Who brought you home?" she asked.

"I walked,"

"Why?"

"Because Foster broke up with me I guess and I couldn't find him, and I didn't want to ask Levi,"

"Why not? I'm sure he would of drove you home if you asked that boy would do anything for you I swear," she sat on the edge of my bed and patted my hands.

"Mom?"

"Yes?" I hugged her waist and cried into her lap. She patted my head stroking my hair.

"You must of really liked this boy, huh?" she asked.

"I did like him mom,"

"Then what's the problem?"

"I don't know if I love him," I said truthfully.

"Well, I didn't love your father at first we were friends before we were a couple," she said. That was different. She didn't love another person while dating him. Maybe I was just using Foster I was dating him because I needed to get Levi out of my mind. Then again we did have a great thing going. Then again maybe I didn't love Levi anymore and it was just my feelings towards Alexis that was making me have reservations about Levi.

"You can always talk to him; you don't have anything to lose honey. You are eighteen you have a whole life ahead of you," she smiled.

"Do you know a James Barnes?" I asked.

"I don't recall. Who is that?"

"That's Fosters dads name, I just wondered because I guess fosters dad got into some trouble before and I never heard about it. It's nothing really, I was wondering," I offered.

"I don't know honey, hopefully not big trouble. Maybe your father would know?" She paused. "Now that I recall he has his mother's last name,"

"It's not a big deal, I just forgot to ask you earlier," I assured her.

She kissed me on the head and left my room and closed my door. I flung myself back onto my bed. I decided to take a shower. I grabbed my pajamas that consisted of a pair of Nike shorts and a baggy t-shirt that was Levi's. I say in the end of my claw foot tub for the longest time just letting the hot water run over my body. When I felt like my body was red enough from the hot water I dried off and wrapped clean bandages around my cuts and wrapped a towel around my head.

"What the hell?" I shouted dropping my hairbrush.

"Shhh," Levi said closing my French doors to my balcony.