Are We Out Of The Woods Yet?(A Taylor Swift Adoption Story)

You're still an innocent

Amara's POV:

I've just had a nightmare.

I'm so so cold and I can't breathe well.. I need to calm myself down before I pass out. I've actually passed out because of these panic attacks before, and it's not enjoyable whatsoever.

Oh please please don't let Taylor hear

I can't trouble her with this, that's beyond selfish considering we've known each other for like 3 hours!! The tears are coming really fast now and no matter how hard I'm trying I can't get my breathing back to normal..

Ok Amara breath in breath out.

It would help if the memory was gone but I can still remember what it was about.. The bomb crashing a mile away the blood so much blood .. The mean scary people with the black caps hitting and hitting and seeing daddy for the first time after weeks.... I can't control the crying this time and I'm sobbing and gasping.. My body is shaking and I'm pretty sure everyone in NYC can hear my teeth chattering.. I try to stop again I really do, but it's not enough. I watch with dismay as the door opens, the light goes on, and Taylor walks in. It's too late to pretend to be asleep.

Taylor's POV:

Assessing the situation Amara is huddled in a ball on the floor and her teeth are chattering like crazy. I quickly hurry to her and she repeatedly says that she's fine through heavy gasping sobs . I can hear her teeth chattering and I can see her trying to breathe but her face is slowly going blue. Oh no. Oohhh no. I know she doesn't want me near her but I don't care. Sinking to the floor I can see the panic and terror in her eyes.

T: "You need to breathe for me okay? In once, hold it, then out.

The look of sheer terror in her eyes is unnerving but I grab her hands and I repeat my phrase until I see her breathing slow down.

T; "Gooood.. very good.. It's ok..It's okk"

This must be about her past.. Do I really want to know? I have to be there for her and the amount of love I have for this stubborn little girl makes me wrap my arms around her and hold her close. To my surprise she snuggles into me panicked and my hands immediately go tighter around her.

She acts like she's 12 but seeing her like this reminds me that she's only six!! She must have had a really really bad nightmare.. I pull her tighter to me and I can feel her little body shaking. We sit there for about five minutes until I feel her heart rate return to normal and see her face go back to its normal color. When she starts breathing normally I gently start talking to her:

"Amara I know you've just had a nightmare.. Do you want to talk about it?"

She looks at me with terrified eyes and I start rubbing her back.. I see her struggling to think if she should let her guard down or not but finally, finally she lets up her guard and tells me. To be honest I knew she was from Syria and I watch the news so I know what goes on there, but hearing everything from a six year old point of view is disturbing and surreal and as much as I want to run screaming I keep rubbing her back slowly as she frantically starts talking about her nightmare, stopping every few sentences to take a breath.

When a six year old tells you she's been beaten and married off what do you say?! I can do nothing but hold her close, tell her she is safe here, and when she ends her story I keep on holding her and tell her over and over that I love her so much. Thinking fast I pick her up and carry her  to my bed.. she's so light it doesn't take any effort at all. After this I don't want her to be alone tonight. As I get closer to the room I see that Adam isn't there, but to my surprise the sheets are rumpled?

I get in anyways and hold her close on my bed until she drifts back off to sleep. I try to do the same until I'm woken up by Adam. One look at his face tells me that he heard everything she said and that he had been waiting for her to sleep so that we could talk about it. That's where he went. I quickly slip out of bed and put a pillow where I was so that she won't know the difference, and then I follow Adam outside to the terrace to talk. It's quite a perfect night, but honestly nothing about tonight is perfect. I slip on moccasins and head out.

When I get there he's pacing, and I don't think I've ever seen him this frustrated or angry. He looks up at me holding open his arms and I run into them. I start crying again and I can see him get teary eyed too as we both remember Amara's story.

He pulls me closer and holding each other we sit down on a bench.

He starts talking first:

Adam: "I.. I really don't know what to say Taylor..I want to kill the guy who did this to her!!"

He puts his head in his hands frustrated before continuing:

"This shouldn't be happening.. Marriage?! She's a six year old for gods sakes. If I were her I would be scarred for life..I'm so glad we're fostering her.. I didn't hear.. did he hurt her sexually?!"

I look up a him and shake my head no.  He mutters a "Thank God" then looks up at me half amused and asks if we should enroll her in karate before I bitterly laugh.

Taylor: "Adam she's never going back there ever, she isn't going to need self defense classes because now she has me and you to protect her. All we can do is be there for her when she needs it. She's gone through hell and back in her six years.. She held some things back from me tonight.. I can tell.. Something more went on there and in time I hope she'll open up about that"

Adam whispers a "damn right she has us" under his breath while I'm talking and I smile.

Ending my speech I look at my boyfriend and he wraps his arms around me:

Adam: " Tay I'm gonna sleep, and you need to also. Since my bed's been taken over I guess I'll go to the guest room"

He laughs when he says the last part and heads inside. I follow him in and curl back up next to Amara. She looks like a little angel and her wavy dark brown hair is spread like a fan around her head. I stroke her hair and  I dont know what comes upon me but leaning down I murmur softly into her ear 
"You're still an innocent"

I shut my eyes and soon enough, I'm asleep.