Charlie swan

Almost dead

As if the night couldn't get any worse, I feel my world slowly collapse. My best friends son is a werewolf, and to make matters worse, my only friendship is breaking slowly little by little.

All these secrets from my own town, and to think I have lived here my whole life, I wonder if it is safe for Bella to go out anymore, if Carlisle is a vampire could his family be dangerous, and will Jacob attack Bella. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if that happened. 

I sigh, running my fingers through my hair. "Bella?"

I call out when I get home and realize everything is dark, I must be the only one home. I set my keys down on the counter and wonder where she could have gone. I take out a cold beer from the freezer but I don't dare turn on the game, I need to be prepared for when she walks through the door. If I don't talk to her soon I'll lose my nerve. 

The house feels chillier then normal, I pace the house, and pretended all I am trying to do is warm up. I forget the heater is broken and go outside to get some wood for the fireplace. That's when I see Bella exiting the forest, I yell out to her. I don't want to seem angry or impatient but I am so frustrated with all the secrets coming out to the surface.

She looks up and I realize she has been crying, he eyes are puffy and splotchy. I dread the walk over to her, I brace myself for the worst, and realize that my stretch of worse has changed with the past couple of days. I reach her and passively look around. There seems to be no one around, was she alone in the forest. 

My senses heighten and realize she could've been in danger and I wouldn't have known, panic rises in my throat and I try to get a grip before I end up screaming. 

"Bella.."

She sobs and falls to the floor. I reach out to catch her, but she is sobbing and swaying uncontrollably. My heart breaks in a million pieces and flashes of her mother come back. I miss having a partner, a family. But I was invested in my work, and I am the cause of my unhappiness. 

"He". 

"He. Left. Me" she tells me between sobs. 

Inside I am relieved, but I hold her tighter and whisper how sorry I am. I pull her into the house, make soup and tea and hope that will comfort her, and this is what starts the worst months of my life. 

Bella doesn't talk, doesn't eat, or sleep. She stays looking out the window for days, weeks. I try to encourage her to at least take a shower, anything to ease her pain and distract her but nothing comes easily. I was not meant for the life of raising a daughter. I look at my bloodshot eyes in the mirror and notice how the bags under my eyes are larger then ever, and I spot my first grey hair.

"Shit," I mutter under my breath.

I brace myself and slap my face until I can muster the most believable smile. I walk up the stairs and before I hit her room, I know she is still at the window, waiting for him to come back. 

"Bell, I am off to work, do you need anything?"

Silence.

"Call me if something comes up, feel free to watch the t.v downstairs, there's some meatloaf in the fridge, I know it's not good but if you get hungry it's there.." I hear myself trail off, what more can I say. This is why Renee left me all those years ago, I can't even comfort my own daughter. I build up my wall, and close the door. I sigh, she didn't even acknowledge I was there, she won't do anything how much longer will this go on?

I get to the office to see chaos and panic erupting in all directions. I want to help, but this gut wrenching pain in the pit of my stomach won't stop aching. I need to do something about Bella. I am interrupted by my thoughts when I see what this mess is all about. Wolf tracks, deaths. Not just any wolf tracks, huge bear like wolfs. That can only mean one thing.

I jump out of my chair and dial Billy. His voicemail picks up. I slam the phone down, someone has got to do something about these wolves attacking people. 

I get my jackets and start the patrol to Billy's house, he is no where in sight when I pull up but even stranger is that everything seems dark. I find Jacob in the garage working on that motorcycle of his, he glares when he sees me walk in.

"He's not here"

I know that, "Where is he, will he be back soon". 

He shrugs his shoulders and I want to smack him up side the head. 

"Look Jacob, we have a real problem, if you would stop killing people!"

"Whoa, hold on there I a saving people from monsters like Edward and Carlisle".

What the hell, what does he mean with that?

"Enough with the excuses, we both know I know what you are"

"And do you know what they are? They are far more deadly then I will ever be, I will stop them."

Smoke comes from the motorcycle and he kicks it, it goes flying. I walk out afraid that his anger will come out and I will be dead. Seeing how life is now it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. 

Carlisle. I can't go approach him, like I can with Billy. I sigh and head home. I head up to Bella's room. She still hasn't moved from the spot at the window. The rage burns inside me.

"Bella, maybe you should go back with your mother". 

That gets her attention. She whips her head around, her dried eyes have gone dark and there is no light shining in through her eyes. It breaks my heart over and over again. I gain as little strength as I can get right now.

"He's not coming back."

I wince, I could have handled that better. "Plus the area is dangerous right now and I don't want to risk your safety."

She has no idea what has been going on in the outside world, and it scares me that she is so vulnerable right now. I wish she could have a distraction. 

"I.. I'll go help Billy and Jacob".

Not that kind of distraction. That's putting her in even more danger then her staring out the window. I curse myself, how can I tell her no, when she finally got out of this dark hole she has been in for months. He lips are cracked from lack of moisture, her skin is a ghostly pale color. I weigh my options.

"Okay, that sounds good, just be careful there have been huge wolf sightings and I don't want you out at dark, or anywhere near the forest. I need to be able to reach you at all times to check that you are safe"

There, that's being a parent. I put boundaries and rules, I am giving her the independence she needs.

"Okay, Charlie".

I cringe at the words, one day she will call me dad again. I can be that great person for her, and support her, can't I? I wish these doubts would go away. 

"Wanna order takeout or want me to cook"

She almost smiles, "I'm still not hungry, but save yourself from your own cooking."

I shrug and leave the room. I felt so close, but I can't break the barrier that surrounds her.

"Um, Bell, you want me to call your friends from school and see if they want to come over for dinner."

"No."

That's it, the only answer, I can feel her shutting back down again. 

Author's Note:

Sorry It has been a very long time. Hope you enjoy :) 

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