Just a Number / NR

022. "goodbye nick,"

unedited

ONE 1/2 MONTHS LATER

friday,
march 15

Jamie Benson

I walked into the school, my foundation firmly covering the gradually fading bruise. I don't know if I am going to be able to keep using extra foundation and looking really caky. I don't favor a lot of makeup, but when I do, it is usually not to cover a bruise caused by your ex-boyfriend. Speaking of the devil, I haven't heard from him since the incident. I haven't talked to a lot of people, but I am coming back around into the loop. I was very tired from last night, which was very hectic. My aunt saw the bruise accidentally, and many questions appeared into the air, so I was up for a while explaining what happened as a lie. I didn't want to lie, but I knew that I would be in major trouble if she knew that I was still seeing Nick at he same time that I was banned from ever thinking about him again. Plus, she'd probably press charges on Nick, and, though part of me is still very hurt and upset at Nick, I do not want to see him behind bars. I sighed as I sat in my seat in English class, where we would be learning about forgiveness. I rolled my eyes as I made a connection to my actual problem. Part of me wanted to forgive Nick so much, but I don't know if I can ever make that small part a whole.

My eyes fluttered open, immediately seeing the red numbers on the classroom clock. 9:57. Oh my! Class was over 10 minutes ago. I lifted my head from my arm and flipped he hoodie off of the top of my head. I wiped the small amount of excess saliva from my lip and gathered my things. As I was walking out, the door was shut in front of my face, and Nick appeared from the back of the door. My head was starting to kind with fear and confusion. He looked straight into my eyes, causing me to divert my attention to the writing on the board.

"Please forgive my actions and my words. For it is a true hell when anticipation and anger blind you," - NICK. (I just made up that quote guys. give me cred RM)

I looked back at Nick, who started to move closer to me, causing me to stumble backwards quickly in slight fear. A few tear droplets fell form the rims of his eyes, falling onto my shirt. After, my eyes started to do the same.

"I-I'm sorry, Jamie. Can't you s-see?" He said, stuttering as his voice started to show his sadness, regret, and guilt.

"How do I know- How do I know it won't happen again, N-Nick?" I asked, starting to cry more. He pursed his lips.

"You should bring the trust for me that you once had and give it another chance. I am truly sorry, Jamie. I- I want you back," he begged.

"N-Nick. I am sorry. But, I can't do this again. I don't know if I need time or I'm just completely done with us, but I need you to just move on and don't stay stuck on me, because I know we both don't have the time to do so," I stated before brushing past Nick, his shoulder moving slightly. His strong arm wrapped around my body and turned my around, pulling me into him. I inhaled sharply, both my fists pressed against his chest gently. He pulled me into a kiss, and my arms fell gently to my sides, but I pulled away after a few seconds because I knew that I couldn't be pulled back into a relationship that I am fearing.

"Goodbye Nick," I said before exciting the class room, tears rolling down my cheeks as I left Nick with lipstick stains and a goodbye that is left unknown if it is temporary or permanent.