((I love Connor))
But just like sadness, why do you bother me now? Why? I was all giddy over my fan fiction in reading then bam sadness. Now I don't want to read. Now I don't want to do anything. And just ugh. I just wanna lie down and just do nothing. Nothing. Literally nothing. Just you know Californiacation ((however you spell it)) on repeat cause that band is my fucking being. And just like have Connor franta in the background also.
And like this isn't the depressing sadness where I just blame myself. And this is not the sadness where I regret my whole life.
This sadness is where I want nothing but everything. I call it the aesthetic sadness. Cause I can always find aesthetic photos that show how I'm feeling at this moment. And then another reason it's the aesthetic sadness is because I'm sad my life is not aesthetic and I want it to be. But whatever I gotta wrap this up. I'm going to bed. Night
