Living Dreams

A Word on Self-Esteem Part Two

How many times does the average high school implement a policy or hold some kind of event meant to benefit students even though the students are never consulted?

I'm obsessive and I talk about what makes me mad to anyone who will listen. So let me just say on behalf of all the students I've spoken with and anyone else who shares these thoughts: Love Your Body week stinks.

Yes, it has good intentions but the message and the execution are off. I've written about this week before so this may sound repetitive but a year later, there is still plenty to say.

My friend and I inadvertently threw shade at the school when, on the Friday before this week, we taped posters (fifty each) all over the school to advertise for our senior projects. Mine is about the dress code; hers, a much better cause mind you, is a beauty drive for women in need. The message for this week is loving yourself no matter what, accepting your flaws, and dressing only for you. It's certainly a positive message but there is always room for improvement, which I will address later. Our senior projects, also creating positive impacts on the school and hopefully the community beyond, conflict with this message.

My friend is collecting beauty products to donate to a women's shelter. I cannot express how proud I am of her for doing this despite the many pitfalls (mostly people screwing her over) she has endured. If we are supposed to love ourselves no matter what we look like and makeup is supposedly a sign of low self-esteem, doesn't that undermine her good intentions? And because she is going to college for cosmetology, doesn't that undermine one of her greatest passions, one that she wishes to make a career out of? Isn't that the opposite of the supportive high school environment they are trying to create?

As for my project, the angle I am using in my study of the dress code is involving as many voices as possible, no matter their opinions, to paint a complete picture of the dress code as it is now and to see how it can be made fair for everyone in the future. The goal is to create understanding.

This discussion is necessary because there are students who feel the dress code is oppressive and adults who feel there would not be an issue if girls just follow the rules. Of course opinions of this issue fall on a spectrum but these have been the general observations in relation to age group so far. The purpose of the dress code in this school is, according to the assistant principals, to promote professionalism. However, this may not be how it is in practice. Out in the school hallways, an observer may say the policy is to prevent females from distracting males, enforcing a patriarchal belief that it is a woman's duty to keep the male gaze off of her so the men can have a distraction-free learning environment while girls are sent home and denied that same learning.

But for the purposes of this discussion, let's say the dress code is the promote professionalism as both the administration and the school handbook says. On Wednesday, students are encouraged to dress comfortably in sweats. Does this sound professional to you? Many people will say the dress code in high school prepares students for the expectations in the real world, which fits with the idea of professionalism. Could an adult working in an office where sweats one day and get away with it when it is not casual Friday or any sort of theme day?

The school seems to believe that dressing for ourselves means wearing sweats and yet we have a dress code that, if promoting professionalism, should technically condemn sweats. First of all, I have not worn sweatpants to school since freshman year but every single day I come here, I am dressed for myself. If I am wearing my favorite sweater and heavy makeup, do not write it off as me trying to impress someone else. And don't make someone feel bad if they do dress for their crush or for healthy attention every once in a while. Many schools do preach dress for success, implying that we are supposed to impress other people. Personally, if told to dress for myself, you'd see me ready for prom. Or I'd wear someone against dress code. Think about it: sweats follow the dress code policy. They are encouraging us to wear sweats under the guise of self-love. There are three ideas which cannot all exist together: the dress code promotes professionalism, wear clearly unprofessional clothes for your self-esteem, you have every right to express yourself in a way that makes you feel the happiest you can be.

Furthermore, with all of the dancing and celebrations and games, Love Your Body week seems to only appeal to people who are comfortable in their own skin. And as an introvert, the constant stimulation can be overwhelming and my inability to enjoy the festivities can make me and fellow introverts feel excluded. As we leave the cafeteria, a school counselor with a microphone shouts someone at us. Not everyone enjoys that kind of attention.

And perhaps this all comes from a bitter high school senior with a fear of stickers. They have stickers in the lunchroom and you write positive messages on them and stick them to your friends. I thought the message of Love Your Body week was to love yourself and not listen to what anyone has to say about you. Either way, pittakionophobia is a real thing and the anxiety of seeing stickers flying about is near crippling. So to alleviate the concerns that I'm a college bound asshole trampling on everyone else's fun, I am going to offer my version of Love Your Body week, one that hopefully takes care of all the flaws I have found in two short essays.

First of all, it's not a week; it takes place for as long as the school exists. It's built into the institution's mission statement: promoting a positive environment that allows students to feel beautiful and accepted; one that does not impede the individual journey to gain permanent self-esteem.

Next, the dress code will reflect this statement.

No stickers (not because it contains an inherently negative message; it's just for my sake).

Next, the pledge they have us sign to love our bodies is on a large poster hung up in the hallway. I don't want to sign it but they force us. Though they will call it encouragement. To be clear, I love my body; I hate Love Your Body week. Please give us the option to opt out of the festivities.

Finally, we should stop making self-esteem look like this fun and in style trend for a week if everything is just going to return to normal the next. All I ask is that you don't shove confidence down my throat for five days then enforce an unfair dress code policy that contradicts your message of self-esteem for the rest of the year.

o