Living Dreams

A Word on Self-Esteem

The week of 13 April 2015 has been dubbed "Love Your Body" week. Five days of being bombarded with the hollow preaching of "love your body!" followed by phrases such as "you are beautiful the way you are" and "you don't need to change!" Here is why I despise this week.

For one, it has taken me years to love myself, to not want to change. My middle school days were spent trying to eat healthy and usually failing. I bought every single skin product known to man because I had every single skin problem known to man. I wore certain clothing to either flatter or hide myself, depending on what I saw in the mirror. Nowadays, I wear whatever the hell I want. Comfort is my main concern. I don't worry about my weight because the doctor says every year that I am where I need to be with it. I have gotten rid of my acne with the help of the products that worked the best. I still try to eat healthy because if it tastes good, then why not? I cut my hair a certain way and wore the right amount of makeup. I shave my legs and arms.

I do all of these things because I want to celebrate myself. I have taken steps to gain self-esteem, not because I still don't have it and I need to impress someone else. I don't need to impress anyone. My journey was only a couple of years. But it is still more than a week. I don't do anything to be beautiful. I do everything to feel beautiful. As far as I'm concerned, I am the only person to say I am beautiful. Everyone is beautiful; they just need the support to realize it and or take the steps to realize it.

Then there is the matter of the dress code. I don't think you can talk about self-esteem without mentioning the esteem-crushing dress code (unless you're a high school trying to maintain a balance of both). There's an asterisk that comes with "love your body." "Love your body" is a phrase that translates into "love your body, just not like that. Cover yourself." They say they are trying to promote self-esteem ("trying" is the key word in that sentence) but then they prey on the girls who express their self-esteem, which, again, takes years to build up, in a "revealing" way. Rather than telling people how to celebrate their bodies and their love for them, we should be supporting the people who need to achieve that self-love. I appreciate the effort but let's face it, they're a bunch of hypocrites. Not to mention that most dress codes promote rape culture and that sexualizing a teenager's body technically makes you a pervert. But that's another rant for another day.

I think the other huge problem is that for some people, a week like this may make them feel terrible. When everyone tells me to like this band or enjoy this movie, and I don't like it, I feel bad. I feel guilty. I guarantee that if you tell someone to love their body and they don't, it makes them feel bad. It can scare them into silence. Everyone is smiling and laughing and writing their names on paper hearts, pledging to love themselves but then you see that one kid walking down the hall with their head down because they are suddenly afraid to be that one student that doesn't feel the same and doesn't want to bring everyone down with their insecurity. They don't deserve to be left behind and they don't deserve to have someone else throw that hollow preaching at them in some vain attempt to help. Those people may care, but they're not helping.

During the week, students are encouraged to wear sweatpants and girls to not wear makeup. In a passive way, it shames girls who wear makeup. No, makeup is not indicative of low self-esteem and hell no, makeup is not indicative of a promiscuous personal life. Makeup, clothes, hair products, while made by companies who prey on our insecurities, help some people and hurt others. Whatever you do to your appearance is good, as long as it is healthy and helps you love yourself. Shaming people for celebrating themselves a certain way in the name of raising self-esteem is possibly the dumbest idea I have ever heard.

So those are my reasons for despising "Love Your Body" week. Rather than make a party out of it, celebrating who we are should be embedded into school life throughout the year. Not just on one day where the pledges are shoved down our throats. I love myself and you should too. If you need to gain or lose some weight, wear a little, a lot, or no makeup, dye hair, cut it, grow it out. It is your life, your personality, and your body. They are your canvases to paint and you decide who can paint them with you. You hide and you show as much as you want. But these words of wisdom are not meant to tell you how you should feel, they are meant to inspire you to begin your journey to loving yourself. It is a long one but trust me, it is entirely worth it.