SIDED LOVE

22. Choices

Victor startled me. It wasn't bittersweet but he surprised me. I wanted to pull back but this simple kiss put me in a frozen state. I couldn't move.

Before I could run away, the guide boy already interrupted us. Victor shamelessly walked out the passenger car without trying to apologize. Why would he apologize? It's not like I hated it, right?

But he's still my brother in paper. I couldn't do things like that just because we aren't related. What if my friends saw me? What would they say to him? To me?

I nodded at the guide boy as thanks to the wonderful ride and tried to follow Victor as he regroup with the others. I felt distant when I saw Paula clinging on Victor again. I didn't feel okay at all. I don't like what I'm seeing and it feels like i'm just here because I have to be someone's chaperone.

"Victor, will you come with me?" I hear Paula say. For a moment there, I hated her voice. I hated her appearance. I hated her small gestures. "Come with me at my place."

Victor glanced at me and I faked a smile. I gave him a thumbs up and he nodded. I wanted him to be with me today but I know he has his own plans for himself. I'm not his either and I don't want to rip off his freedom to do what he wants.

Codie and Dion left already while Victor and Paula wandered the park once more. I wanted to go home actually but I have to stay. Have to. Paula might think I left because I don't have anyone with. It's actually nighttime and I wanted to drag my feet back to my apartment.

I sat down at the bench from earlier. What would happen if I leave now and tell them that I have a lot of things to do? Oh right, the exams. I can totally use that as an excuse to leave.

I took my phone out and dialed Paula's number but then-

"What are you doing here alone?"

I look up and saw Dion. He has one cotton candy and an ice cream on both hands. I smiled at his presence though I didn't expect him to be here.

"Hey Dion. What are you doing here? I thought Codie brought you home." I let out a stifling laugh.

"Her father called in and I had to bring her home fast. I'm not really tired so I came back. Lucky I found you." He hands me both his sweets. "Choose one."

"I thought you'll give it both to me." I point at the cotton candy. "Though one is nice."

"I never expect you to choose the cotton candy." He asks while sitting down with me.

"Why?" I ask while biting off 3/4 of the candy. I let it melt on my tongue. "Is it bad to choose the tasty one?"

"I mean," he starts licking the ice cream. "All girls I dated chose this ice cream over the cotton candy."

"Dated?" I look at him, surprised. "I didn't know giving someone sweets and giving someone company is considered dating."

"Well, that's what most of the girls I dated think of. They think just being with you is dating."

"So why do you prefer using candies as a multiple choice?"

"Mhm?"

"I mean," I gulped. "Why do you make your dates choose between cotton candy and ice cream."

"I don't know," He finished his ice cream. "Before, I asked my ex girlfriend to choose between chocolates and teddy bears."

"What did she choose?"

"Teddy bears." He chuckled. "She loves big stuff. She thinks that if she chose the small one, she couldn't appreciate how wonderful it is."

"So I'm like your ex girlfriend?" I ask while finishing the candy. "Well, I must say that I agree with her. I do love chocolates but Teddy bears are much more sentimental than chocolates. Though I have a sweet tooth, i'd choose something that means a lot to me for a lifetime."

"Exactly."

I giggled. "So, where is your ex girlfriend now?" I ask.

I regret asking that when he started to be gloomy. The silence he is displaying creeps me out. "I'm sorry for asking. I think I just hit the wrong spot." I apologized.

"No," he tilts his head sideways. "It's alright. Uhm, actually, she's gone." He plays with his fingers. "As in dead gone."

"Oh, I'm sorry for your loss." I'm actually knowing a lot of things about him now. From his problems with his family and his dream of having his own studio. Now I opened up a topic about his past love.

"It's fine." He looks forward. "She's one extraordinary. I've always wanted to be like her. To love somebody wholly, that's somebody like her. But because of her love, she died."

"Why are you doing this?"

"What is?"

"Opening up to me? Do you always do that? Do you always tell strangers about you life story? Not that I don't mind,"

"Well, someone once told me that when you feel lonely, talk to yourself. But I'm always lonely and I don't think talking to myself will answer my problems. Sometimes I just find the luck I can find to talk to somebody who's willing to listen. For instance," He faced me. "You."

"So, you always look for strangers to talk with?" I flash him a grin.

"You're not a stranger to me though."

"But you don't know anything about me. What if I steal your ice cream now? What if I take advantage of your kindness and--"

He cuts me off. "I know something though." I look at him with a questioning look. "You don't know? The first time we met, you're so mad that you burst all your problems to me. I was surprised you did that."

"Oh that." I blush. "I'm really embarrassing. Ugh, you shouldn't look at me."

"It's okay, we can always laugh at our mistakes." He comforts. "Anyways, why are you alone? I though you went with Victor and Paula?"

"That's the problem. I feel out of place. I want to leave actually but I'm too shy to explain why."

"Why? Is leaving that big of a deal?   I would rather walk away than stay and suck in all the humiliation."

"I'm not like you who does things out of instinct. I do things after giving it a thought."

"How about this?" He hands over his wallet. "Take it home. Give it a thought whether you'll spend the money in it. I don't mind since I didn't count what's inside that. I'll leave you for now. Is it okay?"

"Are you sure? This is your wallet--"

"I didn't think twice when I gave it to you. Maybe you should try that out. Okay?" He smiles.

He leaned closer and kissed my forehead. My favorite spot because Sancho kissed that place before. I felt wretched because he didn't even ask for my permission, but then, he said he doesn't think twice and I should give it a try.

I wave him off and watch his figure disappear with the crowd. When he's gone, I looked inside his wallet. There I found a picture of him and his family happily smiling at each other. What I noticed is the baby Dion's mother is holding.

The baby's eyes looks so familiar to me that I can't believe it myself.

END