Genie of the Puzzle

14: Rules of the Puzzle

My allergies have me sounding like [abridged] Tristan, Yami, and (Yami) Bakura had a threesome and I'm their weird sounding baby

Joey checked his pockets, which were now all empty. He pouted.

The genie stood there with her sign in silence. "Well, fine. If you won't clap, I will." She then applauded herself. "I wasn't half bad for ten thousand years of being stuck in there."

Giving in, Yami clapped.

"There we are! Thank you, Yami." She then checked her nails. "So, what'll it be, master?"

"Hang on a second!" Joey angrily, stood up and said, "How come he gets the three wishes? After all of this, I'm the one who stole the puzzle back from that guy!"

"You're also the one who got you stuck in the cave."

Yami laughed. "She's got a point."

"But I've poked and prodded at the puzzle before Yami woke up! How come you didn't show up then?"

"Well, let me put it like this:" she cleared her throat and pulled some notecards from her pocket and put on a monocle. "...its says right here..." She threw the cards in the air. "I only help gay people."

"...what?" They both said in unison.

"But Joey's pretty gay..." Yami pondered.

"Oh I know." THe genie nodded. "but I don't help just any gay people. I help gay people who have their eye on a specific someone." She elbowed Yami. "You have a crush, don't ya?"

Yami blushed (in a manly way), and Joey then said, "But isn't puppyshipping a thing?"

The genie filed her nails. "Are you going to make it a thing?"

Everyone, even the carpet, looked at Joey accusingly. He just reddened in the face then said, "Yami can have the wishes."

"I don't think he needs your permission." She looked back at Yami and asked again, "SO. What'll it be, master?"

"Hang on, you'll grant me any three wishes I want, or do they have to be gay people related?"

"They don't have to be gay people related. However...hm..." She frowned. "There are actually a few...erm, provisos, quid pro pros, that kinda thing."

Yami raised a brow. "Like...?"

THe genie made herself smaller, a bit taller than Yami in height. "ah, rule number 1: I can't kill anybody." She sliced off her own head.  "SO don't ask. However, I will CUT UP the b*tch who disses my OTP."

"Rule numero dos: I can't make anyone fall in love with anyone else." She kissed Yami's cheek and then pinched it.

"Then what about the gay crush?"

"Hey, I'm your magical wingman." The genie shrugged. "Not Cupid."

"Fine, fine."

"Then rule number three:" the genie rose up like a zombie, looked like one too, and said, "I can't bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty picture..."  She grabbed Yami by the shoulders and shook him. "I don't like doing it!!!"

She zipped away and bowed before him, putting her hands in front of her face as she did so. "Other than that, you've got it!"

Yami looked at Joey, and they both grinned in unison as they had the same idea.

Scowling, Yami spat, "Provisos? You mean like, limitations? On wishes?"

Joey cringed at Yami's tone, knowing it was obviously fake. "Some 'all powerful genie'."

The genie's hands left her face. Where there was once a smile there was now a frown.

Ignoring her, Yami got up and sighed. Obnoxiously fake, he said, "Oh well, Joey, guess she's not even able to get us outta this cave. Come on, let's find our own way out."

IT seemed that the genie was so caught up in the fact that he dared to insult her methods, she fell right into their trap.
Her giant foot stepped right in front of them, threatening to kick them or stomp on them.
"Ex-squeeze me?"
She scoffed.
"Are you talking to me?" She pointed a finger at Yami. "Did you rub my puzzle? Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here?"

The genie didn't notice the smug glance exchange from Yami to Joey.

"And NOW YOU'RE WALKING OUT ON ME?!"
She stomped closer to them, shaking her index finger of accusation.
"I DON'T THINK SO."

"NOT RIGHT NOW!" In a menacing voice, she screamed, "YOU'RE GETTIN YOUR WISHES, SO SIT DOWN!!!"

Yami and Joey cowered and shuddered at the fact she screamed loud enough to have the text bold, italic, and underlined.

Instantly, the fan-genie put on a smile and poof!ed herself onto the carpet, dressed like a flight attendant with a creepy grin and a bag of peanuts.
"In case of emergency, the exits are here," she pointed to several spots with several arms. "Here, here, here, here, here...anywhere!!!"
Her arms shrunk into her sides. "Keep your hands and arms inside the carpet..."

With a bit of magic glitter, she sent them and the carpet rocketing out of the cave and back to the desert surface while saying "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee're outta here!!!!"