Genie of the Puzzle

12: The Genie of the Puzzle

Yami, sore and groggy, opened his eyes to almost complete darkness. He sat up, leaning against the cave wall. There was a light, probably moonlight, but there wasn't enough to make out the area around him.

"Yams! You're up!" Joey hurried to Yami's side. "Did'ja break anything?"

Yami just sighed. "You were right." He frowned and looked up. "He was just tricking us." He twisted his face into a scowl, and yelled, "That two-faced son of a jackal!"

"Son of a jackal?"

"Aladdin said that in the movie. It's child friendly that way."

Joey raised a brow at him. "You sang a song about how stealing was okay. You know," he plastered on a fake grin. "It's okay to steal, kids, as long as you need it!"

"Hey, look who's talking!" Yami pouted. "Why did you want a ruby so badly? You were given a free pass, and this is how you spend it?"

"I don't know! I like shiny things!"

"Well, shiny almost got us killed." He slumped his shoulders. "Doesn't matter. That guy, whoever he was, is long gone with that stupid puzzle..."

"Uh-uh." Joey shook his head, and he took out the puzzle from behind his back. "Ta-da!"

Yami grinned. "You Brooklyn thief, you!" He took it from his hands, inspecting it. He looked back to Joey. "How did you-?"

"I bit him. My hands were free. It was an easy snatch."

Yami snickered. "That guy probably doesn't even know!"

***

Bakura, curled up into a ball, sucked his thumb, crying.
Marik stroked his hair. "Here, Kitty...."

***

Yami held the puzzle in his hands. It gleamed, yet there was barely any light to illuminate the room. He squinted, looking closer at the design.

"Why would anyone want this piece of crap?" He frowned. "And cutting off my hand for it?!!"
He rubbed his thumb along the edge. "I think there's something written here..."

Suddenly, the puzzle began to glow brighter and shake in his hands, causing his to drop it in shock and crawl backward, running into Joey.

Out of the center of the eye piece, blue fog became to exit and spill onto the floor, glowing brighter until it wasn't even fog at all.
The puffs formed into a shape...a shape oddly like a person...

Finally the person-like figure grew larger until it was practically a giant, barely fitting in their cave.
Silence became a crescendo of yelling.

"WwwwwhhhhhHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAA," The fog had formed into a blue person, with a black ponytail and a red vest. Instead of legs, there was a tail of blue fog. "Whoa!"

The genie rolled her head around (her? *gasp*) and said, "Ten thousand years can give you such a crick in the neck!" Picking up Yami by the shirt collar, she hung him in thin air as you would a jacket on a hook and said, "HANG ON A SECOND..."

She turned her head completely around, flashing a frown at first and then revealed a grin after a 360 turn on her neck..
Her blue tail had a microphone on the end and she picked it up. "Great to be back on the show, and with a new victim----I mean, master! What is your name?"

Yami, being put on the spot with a microphone in his face, said, awkwardly, "UH...Yami..."

"Well hey there Yami! Welcome to the show! Can I call you Yams? Or how about just Mi?" The genie just laughed. "MI? How about no. It sounds like 'me' and that would be so CON-FUS-ING!!!" Thinking for a moment, the genie said, "I guess I could also call you Atem...but that's like a whole other name for a whole 'nother person. And, 'Yami' fits better with the song after the next one."
Her eyes brightened as she saw the carpet. "Hey, rug-man! Haven't seen you in a few millennia!" They proceeded to do a secret handshake. "Gimme some tassel, yeah!"

"I..." Yami frowned. This new person wasn't even a full chapter into the fic and she was already breaking the fourth wall. "Who are you?"

"Ah...right...that..." Awkwardly and embarrassed, she looked down. "Well...let me ask you this...have you seen me anywhere? In the manga....? The anime...? The abridged series...?"

Yami realized this was the one puzzle that he hated solving. He nudged Joey, gasping, "She's....she's an OC!"

Joey gasped too. He looked up. "Author....how could you!?"

"Author....?" Yami called out.

"Technically I'm not entirely OC, I just look like a gender bent original, plus there're a few...adjustments. " The new girl only smiled. "And about the author...well, the author left me, to go shipping, with a list of things to respond with if you guys are to misbehave with me."

"...I can't believe the author would just ditch us...!"

Ignoring them, the genie unrolled a large scroll that touched the floor (remember, she's a giant) "here's one: if people are to ask you why you're an OC when you could have been anyone else, punch them in the face and tell them to shut up." She looked up, smiling. "Except I won't do that, because you seem (somewhat) nice."

Yami raised a brow. "Are there any other rules?"

The new girl looked back down. "Um...there's...ooh, I particularly enjoy eighty seven: If Joey tries to rebel and do things his own way, put him in a cage with Kaiba and watch what happens. It gets interesting." 

Joey's face reddened, and Yami snickered. "okay...one more. One more."

"Alright...oh, my personal favorite, it's circled, too. One hundred and eleven: if Tea tries to ruin the puzzleshipping or any ship, feel free to kill her."
The genie paused and looked up. "Hold on, I just noticed..." She faced Yami and eyed him. "You're a lot smaller than my last master. Either that or Im getting bigger...!" She struck a side pose. "Look at me from the side, do I look bigger to you?"

Yami had trouble taking it all in and completely ignoring the fact that the author left the OC permission to commit first degree murder. "Wait...I'm your master?"

"That's right!" The blue chick put a scroll and graduation hat on him. "He can be taught!" She backed up a bit, and bowed. "What do you wish of me,"She changed herself to look similar to Arnold Schwarzenegger. "The ever impressive..." She said in a booming voice. Then she put herself into a box, and tried breaking out. "...the loooonnng contaaaaiiiiined..." After breaking free, she sat on a stool with a puppet on her lap. "...the often imitated..." She said with a squeaky voice.

When returning to normal, she said, "but never duplicated..." She began making copies of herself that all said "Duplicated!"

There was no drumroll, but it definitely would have fit.
"Genie..." She boomed in the middle of a crowd of herself. "...of the Puzzle!!!"

Her self-crowd began to cheer for her, and she added, "Right here! From the puzzle! Right here for your wish fulfillment! Thank you!"

"Hang on, hang on..." Yami stood, trying to wrap his head around this. "...wish fulfillment?"

"3 to be exact!" The genie said with the same number of fingers. Then she frowned. "And ix-nay on the wishing for more wishes!"
She turned into a slot machine and her arm came down, revealing the numbers 1, 2, 3. "That's it-three!"
She walked by with a cigar and said, "No substitutions, exchanges, or refunds."

Yami held a cold hand to his head. "Okay," he looked at Joey. "Now I know I'm officially dreaming."

Some music began to play, and the genie shook her head, grinning.
"Master, I don't think you quite realize what you've got here! So, why don't you ruminate, whilst I illuminate," her entire body lit up like a fluorescent light. "...the possibilities!"

She dropped and rested on her elbow, right next to her new master.

There is a good reason why I made the genie female. Just give it time.
Please.