Open Fortress

Here you go

Looking at myself in the mirror

i wonder why i act so fake

its not me who the see

its not even close to who i am

i fidget with my hair

thinking its a mess

frizz, afro, stinky, shiny

when its just perfect

Pants, I love shorts

ponytail, i love it free

I do love sports

is this who I'm always gonna be?

Look up

Look up!

LOOK UP!!!

Smile! Talk! Laugh!

I want to look up

But when I do I can't see

No book left bare

I draw while they stare

with those judging eyes

tune out, those who giggle behind me

tune out, those who point with their eyes

tune out, the ones I love

tune out, I've failed.

tune out the teacher's voice

I can't listen if i try

I think about a boy

Feel like I've never cried

I wonder what he thinks

what he'll get from me

cuz i just can't open.

I try, I tell you.

I try, i scream at you

I try, keep repeating that

i try, but I can't.

If only you knew what's on my mind

When I dream of you, its cuz I haven't seen you

then right there, the dreams are so vivid

i hug you, i kiss you, i tell you all that i feel

we're good, we're close

but then i wake up

It's cruel really

nothing more evil

than thinking we're together

and the light wakes me up

I daydream of when

I'll come up to you and say

all that I've kept at bay

I gather the courage

I practice my words

I look at you

and it's all gone

Seconds after you vanished

i feel so full yet empty

All that I'd been dying to say

Will wait another day