a/n THIS IS NOT MINE! I used to have a quizilla and found this on the site. The user AUDREYaussie made this and full credit goes to her. I just wanted other people to see it.
1. I must not panic, no matter how terrified I am. Panicking will only make him want to kill me more.
2. I must not taunt the Joker.
3. I must not taunt the Joker.
4. I MUST NOT TAUNT THE JOKER.
5. If I am a fan, I will not ask to hang out with him. He would probably rather kill me first.
6. If I value my life, I will never, ever glomp him.
7. No matter how much of a fan I am, I will not intentionally seek the Joker out unless I well and truly have a death wish or am extremely disturbed. Intentionally trying to find a psychotic clown is, in general, a very bad idea.
8. No matter how fun it might be, I must never dress up as the Joker and go running around Gotham like a nut. The real Joker will eventually wise up to me and kill me for my little stunt.
9. If I am ever taken captive by the Joker, I will do my best to seem twisted and psychotic. This will hopefully convince him that I am a better ally than a hostage, and I will therefore live longer and hopefully will be able to plan escape.
10. If I am dealing with Ledger Joker, I will not ask him about his scars. I will not joke about it. I will not speak of it. Ever.
11. As fond as he is of the song, I must not sing “Jingle Bells, Batman Smells” over and over. He will eventually stop laughing and start slashing.
12. If I find myself in a position where I am being tortured, I will laugh as if my life depended upon it. It does. This will probably not work if the Joker is hell-bent on killing me afterwards anyway.
13. If the Joker asks me to smile, I will do it as sincerely as possible. No questions asked.
14. If I somehow manage to become a recruit instead of a hostage, I must not steal the Joker’s outfit and run around in it. He will not be smiling anymore.
15. Clown jokes are not funny and not tolerated in or around the lair.
16. The squirting flower is not there for me to play with, and I must not play with it, especially not if the Joker himself or his other goons are around for me to spray.
17. I cannot sneak up on the Joker. He’s probably monitoring me as we speak.
18. If I am dealing with Ledger Joker, I must not get into his make-up. He will be most unhappy with me.
19. I must not ask if we can egg or TP Bruce Wayne’s house… more than once.
20. I will not quote the animated series Joker, any of the movie Jokers, or the comic Joker at any time. The lines were really only memorable the first time that they were used.
21. I must never, under any circumstances, mention the Batman TV show from the sixties with Adam West. The Joker does not like to speak about it, and chances are Batman feels the same way.
22. I must never, ever, ever mention the surfing contest between Sixties Joker and Sixties Batman. Waves are not the only thing that the Joker can shred.
23. If I am a female goon and I value my life and sanity, I will not attempt to date the Joker. Bad things will happen.
24. I must not mention/poke fun at/annoy Harley Quinn. Ever.
25. Grinning or laughing as a response to the Joker’s questions is not amusing or funny, and it will, contrary to popular belief, begin to annoy him after a while.
