Hungry

Tonight

"Are you hungry dear?" his mother asked looking at me desperately. Yes, i was hungry but she could not know, and i could not eat. "No thank you, i already ate." as soon as my reply came out she gave me a sad, disapproving look and walked into the kitchen, i hoped she believed me. Blake led me to his room, i suddenly wanted to go back to talking to his mom, she was odd, true, but i missed my mom. He was truly lucky to have her. I wanted to cry, but that is impossible, i must stay strong.

We came into his room after walking in pure silence, i just looked at the ground, i didn't want him to see my weakness. My mother left me and that was that. I gave myself confidence to look up and take in my surroundings. there wasn't much to see, a small room, white walls, faded grey carpet, a mattress on the ground with black sheets and comforter. His walls had a few posters of black veil brides, my chemical romance, etc. but only a few. He had a small wooden dresser next to his closet.  he also had a white box in the corner, hmm.

I looked at him and realised he was watching me observe his room. I smiled a fake, gentle smile and looked down. He laughed a little. Why? He laughed at me. Grr.  He sat down on his bed and patted by his side for me to sit by him. I walked over carefully and sat down trying not to touch him. My heart was thumping hard in my chest, my blood was racing and i had goosebumps. He moved slightly making my arm brush against his for a brief moment. I shivered, and tingles were spread throughout me, the ony time i remember feeling that was when i was with Alex, so long ago.

"Are you tired?" i asked softly as he streched out his arms and stifled a yawn. "Kind of, unless you want to stay up?" i looked at him examining his hopful expression "im kind of tired to, maybe we should sleep." i lied "ok...." he started to say more then cut himself off. i wonder what he was going to say."here" he said as i tried to lay on the ground he patted on his bed "you sleep on my bed its alright, you shouldnt sleep down there, i will." my reply cam as "no, its fine its your bed and id rather sleep on the floor...." i was kind of used to it from my house. I slept on the floor all the time. I dont think ive even ownd a bed since my mother left, and i didnt mind it.

He turned off the lights and we both got settled, i turned to my side so i wouldnt face him. After awhile i heard his breath settle and turned to look athim but he was faced the other direction, so i presumed he was sleeping and stared up at the ceiling letting my thoughts cosume me. Should i go back home? If i do will i even live for a whole day? Will he track me down and kill me? will he find a new target? Alex? Himself? What if something happens to him? He is my father. What if blake learns of my secret? What if i am forced to eat? Why do i continuosly purge when im not eating? well i know the answer to that. Opps. Shouldnt have thought about that. My stomache growled loudly and sharp pains shot throughout every inch of my stomache, every bone, every ounce of my body. I cried out softly in pain, careful not to wake blake up. That wouldnt be good.

-Blake-

She thinks im sleeping. I can tell. I hear her crying so quietly, but what should i do? How do i help her when she doesnt want to be helped? Shes in pain. Shes hurting. She cried out alittle i waited a second and moved slightly hopeing not to startle her but pretened i was actually sleeping. I pretended to slighly open my eyes as if about to wake up, then decided to pretend i was still sleeping rolled over again and groaned alittle to convince her a bit. The let my breathing settle once again. She sat up and walked over to the door i closed my eyes when she turned her head.

She quietly opened the door and looked down the hall. What is she doing? She walked quietly out of the room. I carefully got off the bed trying to make it not creak and quietly walked after her. She was at the end of the hall looking into a mirror. I tried to not get in the image so she wouldnt see me, but still watching her. She looked at her self closely and traced her fingers along some bruises and cuts on her face then stepped back and looked at her full body.

She pushed her stomache down through her shirt and sucked in still looking at the image in the mirror. Then sighed and looked down at the ground wiping away some escaped tears. She shouldnt be going through this. She should be happier, but what can i do? i went back to my bed and layed down hopeing to fall asleep. Nope.