the longest delay of my life has come to these last few weeks, and I don't know how to handle it.
the nauseating feeling of not wanting to let go of someone, whether physically or mentally, constantly plagues my body.
nausea.
a pit in my stomach.
I can never seem to let go.
latching won't do us any good, but being my rock, I latch on.
in the concrete, I evade, I erode away my terrible thoughts with thoughts of comfort as I try to imagine that there's some way I will be happy.
I love,
my home.
my only home.
the arms that bring me joy, that keep me breathing.
I love,
memories of these years plague my mind as the nauseating feeling decides to stay with me.
I wish to relive every moment, but in truth, know I can't.
reality hits that one day, I will too be someone's home, taking off in a twister that we all know as growing up.
reality hits me in my dreams, making nightmares become more than what they seem.
a crisis I can't compete with, a crisis we all must go through.
I love,
my future, my past, oh God my past. Those embarrassing years make me shudder with fear, but I would do anything to be back in them with the one thing that kept me going.
I love,
all someone that great can bring to me.
joy, despair, bliss, annoyance, comfort.
happiness.
pure happiness.
I love,
my only home.
you.
