Where Have You Been All My Life

3|Her Shade

"Raman...your tea...!" Om shouted shaking him.

Why does his father sounded so tensed and his interruption made him furious? He surely did not want any intruders to destroy his job at hand, err eyes! Once when Om's shouting resonated louder in his ears making his heart hammer in a kind of new yearning and exasperation on finding that the view is on its end and his wife has moved inside her home, he came into senses and inquired his father why the hell he is bothering him. He has concerned about one thing that he could not bliss the last coy glance she had spared him!

Everybody has made his life a joke. They want him to act on their own accord. Why cannot they let him have his way, at least with his wife? So much gutter thoughts occurred in his mind and he could not help but feel shame on himself. He never had a thought that he would get angry on his father for not letting him ogle at Ishita, the woman whom he detested the most and disgraced to the depth!

"Raman puttar...you've spilt your tea...!" Toshi said politely while trying to dry his T-shirt by the edge of her shawl.

That was the moment when the burning sensation coursed through his milky skin, of his chest...down to his stomach. He has jumped in front of them and they were wondering why he could not feel it before! Only he knew how he was burning inside because of the lady next door's presence and the moment her warmth has lost, his body cooled down! He might have turned the cup while checking her out. He concluded. How shamelessly he did that and glad she did not look for her sandals. It would have happened if it were not like this. They have changed a lot!

Making angry faces and ignoring those questioning eyes were not a big deal when it comes to Raman Kumar Bhalla. There he went back to his room and engrossed in some important business matters. Entombing himself in such official matters had helped him recover from the recent troubles but not completely. He had this urge to go meet her or do something that would make her stay with him a little longer like last night.

He had come out of his room to the balcony with a hope to get a glimpse of her, many times. He wants to talk to her about Ruhi. Yes, it was about Ruhi. He assured himself. Why cannot he discuss it with any other person at home? Not anymore. She is Ruhi's mother. She has all the rights to know about her. He had chided himself. So many excuses but no way he could see her! That was aching and he did not like this new ache a bit!

This new craving was unbearable and Raman Bhalla found himself in a cyclone of do's and don't's. He did want to shed his inhibition and kill his ego but then, she could also be the one taking a step forward. There he came back to square one, where he truly belongs to: adamancy and arrogance. No one can win over this man, and he was expecting that woman who always did cut him short, to take a step forward to reach out to him. That was impossible as he himself knows she is not dying for him like any other woman would have.

It was past three thirty when he got a courier from studio. It was a frame of him tying the nuptial necklace around her neck and her looking down. He did not see her then. He had looked away making faces because he truly did not want to see her at all. However, now, he felt it would have been so beautiful if he spared a look at her and shared a slight smile against her face that was this close to him, a breath away but he missed it. He could feel the rush of blood in him on just watching the frame but he so badly messed up his wedding and there is no way he could undo this. So many things he truly wants to undo and redo but those are not possible, he thought. Maybe they would take a lifetime to make it up to each other for the lost days and the days that are losing because of their sense of self.