detachment ✔

31

"Stay the fuck outta my way." Scott snaps, his angry scowl present on his face as always. My hands have begun to shake once again as his tone becomes sharper and sharper. It's like all of the strength I've been building up for the past two years just deflated into absolute nothing. When I don't say anything and just stare back with surprised eyes, Scott spits on the ground, almost hitting me.

"Should be happy with that asshole you've slept with. You two suit, you're both a disease to my bar." Scott swears, clenching his teeth in rage. I'm just about to shout back at his fucking rude ass when he storms off, leaving me completely speechless. What the fuck is going on? With sweaty yet clenched fists, I run towards a dark alleyway right around the corner, my dark thoughts invading my mind like a dark plague.

Everything seems to be getting worse by the second, and it's because of Josh. Now, Scott's insults and shouts directed at me remind me of nothing more but the years of abuse I had to put up with whilst I was with Josh. Fucking Josh and his huge-ass mansion filled with priceless possessions that seemed to matter to only him. He's the reason I became this detached cold monster that hid under the name of Shana Ross, the alter ego that used to make me feel stronger.

But being Tessa Gunn only made me recognise that weakness does not come with a name, it comes with your thoughts and emotions. And seeing Josh again at Timed Rhythm, just a few metres away from me, every single ounce of strength in my blood was drained the moment I laid my eyes on him.

I take a seat on the chilly and damp ground, kicking a few empty cardboard boxes out of my way, but out of frustration as well.

Suddenly, the memory of Josh cussing at me comes back into my mind, every second of the moment so translucent it feels like I'm there. In his big house. With my back completely pressed against the wall, tears flowing down my cheeks. Begging for him to just walk away, but that moment didn't happen until I was ripped to shreds.

"You're fucking worthless. I should have never let you into my life. All you do is steal from me and expect more in return." I hear Josh spit at me as the whole picture moves around in swirls, the corners of the image beginning to blur. His voice begins to distort as the screams continue, until another voice yells. "You two suit, you're both a disease."

The whole image begins to blur again as Scott's face begins to replace Josh's, my whole mind swirling around as I begin to gasp for a breath which I had been holding in for too long. I suddenly become aware of my surroundings again; the dark alleyway covered in litter and empty packaging, the dampness of the freshly-rained ground.

I immediately reach for my pack of cigarettes from my jacket pocket, bringing one single cig to my lips before igniting it with my lighter. I take one deep puff from it before tossing it across the alleyway, clenching my jaw.

I don't want to think about Josh, I can't be thinking about him. I want to know the truth about what's going on, and I need to know now. But the problem is, I feel like Dylan is lying to me about all of this. But that can't be, right? He couldn't have lied to me about something as big as this...

But what's he even lying about? Is it about him? Is it about someone else? Someone we both know? Is it about me?

I always felt such a strong attraction towards his dark and sinister eyes, but I feel like his broken eyes are hiding too much right now.

Does he know something about Felix? Did he lie to me about that, too?

I take my phone out of my pocket and my first instinct is to call Felix, even if he doesn't want to hear a word from me. In the darkness of the alley, I hear the phone ring as the call tries to go through, and I suck in a breath right before he picks up.