When it happens.

22: Music can heal the soul.

Jade

I wake up with a small smile, the familiar pattern of the ceiling makes me feel more at ease. After a moment I go downstairs where Dan is, in the living room.

"Morning." I say, he yawns and smiles at me.

"Morning." He replies. "We need to go over some things." He says, I nod and sit down.

"Go on." I say and stretch.

"What's happening with schooling. You have the option to stop schooling if you want. Or online classes maybe even actual school. Obviously not until you're stable." He says. I bite my lip.

"Online classes seem good." I say quietly. He nods and writes it down.

"The other thing is that you start therapy today, it starts at noon." He says. I take a deep breath and nod. He quickly goes over it, it will be in the therapy house I would have gone to, it will either be a group session or one on one, maybe something else he is not sure.

I go to the kitchen and I make coffee. I offer Dan one and he takes it. I stand with him in the kitchen. I take a sip of my coffee and scrunch my face, I put the mug down and sigh. It doesn't taste the same anymore.

Dan sighs and I leave him to have a shower. I let the water sooth me and I close my eyes as the heavy beads of water fall on me. I wash my hair and I wash my body, as I wash the soapy suds off my body and I see all the places I want tattooed, I smile as the pictures flood my mind and they create a sense of urgency almost.

I step out of the shower and I dry myself. Dan and Nadine have both left notes, Dan is getting a surprise to make me feel more comfortable and nadine is getting Toby to day care then is going for a check up at the doctors at the rehab.

I put the notes in the bin and I sit at my desk. I get some pen and paper and I draw. It doesn't turn to much but it keeps my mind busy. After a while it is time to go. Dan gets me and walks me outside to the driveway where my motorcycle and car are parked. I put on a smile and give Dan a hug.

Dan drives me to the appointment. Mainly because I don't know the way but also because I know he loves my car. I sit in the front with him and I look out the window. I feel numb more than anything, I don't think I could take any type of emotion anyway.

I look down and my eye catches something on his belt, matte black and pristine.

"Why do you have that?" I ask. Dan furrows his eyebrows and looks at me weirdly.

"The gun." I say simply, he just sighs.

"Precaution." He says.

"I don't want it near me." I say sternly.

"I'm sorry but you don't have that option. I have to be able to let protect you." He says sympathetically. I grunt quietly and we turn into a private house looking building.

It's tall, about six stories. It has cameras and bars on the windows. My eyes are drawn to the matte black door that we walk through. Dan was right the vibe I'm here is grim. Probably makes people more depressed than they already might be.

I'm taken straight to the 'therapy room', it is a large hall full of music instruments and a circle of metal seats, the exact seats Andy and co used.

"I can't do this." I say and walk out as fast as I can. Dan catches up to me and I try to push him off but it doesn't work.

"What's wrong? Tell me" he says, I shake my head and I collapse into him.

"Shhh shhh it's ok." He lulls.

"The seats." I whimper. "He used those seats." I brace myself for his laugh at the ridiculousness but it never comes instead he sits me down and walks off with the promise he will sort it out.

As I sit on the nearby stairs once I calmed down a girl about my age group comes and sits with me.

"You're the new girl aren't you?" She asks.

"I guess so." I say without looking at her.

"Don't worry, we've all been told not to tell anyone where you are. We can imagine the media scrutiny you've been under. I'm Cassie." She says. I look up and see a curvy Hispanic girl, deep brown eyes and plump lips, her hair falls to about her shoulders and I smile at her.

"Nice tattoos." She says, I look down and see the intricate designs on my skin.

"Thanks, I helped design them." I say, she smiles.

"I want to get some when I get out of here. To cover up my..." She says and slowly gets sadder and quieter. I realize what she means as her whole body is covered, and she holds her jumper tightly so her arms aren't shown.

"Yeah, I love tattoos, their story or design. It's beautiful." I say, she nods when Dan comes and gets us.

I'm taken back into the room, everything is the same but the chairs are wooden. I look around once I've sat and I sigh. Everyone sits and a woman sits opposite me. She is about fifty, with wrinkled skin and folds on her hands she looks around and smiles. Her dirty blonde hair is clean and blow dried, it falls to her shoulders and she carelessly flips it away. I look around and Dan is not here but I see his mop of brown hair through the glass of the door.

"Ok everyone, as you all know I'm Allison. Let's go around the group and introduce ourselves." She says politely. Girls and boys stand and give their names. Some seem nervous, others cocky but my study's of body language shows otherwise. Soon it's my turn and I stand.

"Hi, I'm jade. I umm, I'm eighteen and I play a lot of instruments." I say and I sit back down. Alison smiles at me and I zone out while the others talk. My mind focuses again when Alison speaks again.

"Would anyone like to share anything?" She asks I see Cassie hesitate. I nudge her so she looks at me and when she does I smile. She gives me a slight nod and stands up.

"I hurt everyone around me. So I hurt myself. I realised it was hurting those around me so I stopped. I've been one week clean." She says and sits. We all clap and Alison smiles. Everyone says something apart from me. I stay silent and just clap.

"Jade. Would you like to share?" She asks. Images of the things that happened flash through my mind and I shake my head.

"No, I'm ok." I say quietly. I hear a slight murmur through the room.

"Why don't you play us something. Just play how you feel." Alison suggests. I bite my lip and Cassie nudges me. I stand and walk to the piano. I take a deep breath and I play the piece I constantly played while I was in the room. My fingers move fast and my eyes are comfortably closed. Soon the end of the string of notes arrives and the swirling sound of the piano flees the room. I open my eyes and I look. The group has tears in their eyes and I bite my lip.

"I'm sorry." I say and I leave the room quickly.

"Are you ok?" Dan asks.

"Yeah, can we go home? I'm so tired out from all this." I say. He nods. We walk out, I'm surprised Alison didn't come out but she probably was doing damage control. I am taken home and after a few hours of bone weakening playing I sleep the best sleep in months.