Hold on

Chapter 3 - You have to fall before you can fly

Riley's POV

We've gotten some much closer because of that conversation over the past few weeks and my feelings for Ruby definedly have gotten much stronger. Every time i look at her my legs start to feel like jello and my heart starts raising like crazy. I know how scared she is of falling in love so i'm afraid of telling her about how i feel.

We got a really good grade for Geography thanks to our great team work. I'm happy for her she's fitting in here and finding her way she has made some friends like Jordin and Leila they make her happy and that makes me happy as well to see that beautiful smile and hear her contagious laughter. I am falling in love with her

We are in the cafeteria and Ruby's walking towards me with a smile on her face she's wearing my grey beanie she liked so much. 'Hey Riley!' She says happily. 'Hi!' I reply. 'Thank you for that conversation.' She says with a smile as sweet as maple. 'You're welcome just know i'm here for you anytime okay?' I answer. 'Yeah sure i know that.' She said still with that same smile on her face. 'How are you feeling.' I ask out of concern she had told me about the pain in her chest. 'I'm actually feeling good i've had no more pain since then.' I nodd. 'That's good.'

I had told her more about my family situation with my mom that day of our group project. I tried staying strong but after pushing it away for all these years i had hit my breaking point. I just started crying in front of a girl i had never felt so vulnerable and so safe at the same time she listenend to every single word and sentence my lips had formed. She was there to hug me to make me feel like it was alright that she was there for me and she was not going to leave.

'Are you okay Riley?' She asks me because i am staring at nothing. 'Yes, i just wanted to thank you for that Tuesday.' I say a faint smile appeares on my face. 'We made a pact right? We'd be there for eachother...' Her last words faded away i knew what was going trough her head. 'No, you can't think like that Ruby! You're okay remember.' She lookes up at me. 'Yeah, i know...' She says. 'Come here and give me a hug.' I say in a sweet voice.

Ruby's POV

I walked into his arms so he could hug me i couldn't deny that it felt like coming home i actually felt safe in his arms like nothing bad could happen. But i would still not allow myself to fall in love with him i just didn't dare to. What if i make promises i can't keep? What if i actually won't be there for him anymore than i would be the other one that left him behind. That's me overthinking everything i decided to let i go and burry my face into his neck. 

I pull away from the hug and he is smiling at me. 'We have English class right now.' He says. 'I know whe should go now shouldn't we?' I answer. 'Yeah whe should.' During English class he was making silly faces at me the entire time i laughed so hard i got in trouble for it. Mister Jensen came up to my desk with a grumpy face.'Miss Ferras what is so funny you would like to share it with the rest of us?' I had to contain my laughter. 'No, i thought just thought of a funny joke.' He looked to his left. 'Are you sure of that?' He asked and i nodded. 'Could it be Riley making silly faces at you.' He saw it. 'Yeah...maybe.' I said more quiet this time. 'I'll let it go for this time but if this happens again you can write a 2 page long essay on why you have to be serious in class.' He said with a stern voice. We both nodded Riley stuck his tongue out at me and just gave him a grin.

'Would you like to come over i mean just to catch up.' He asks a bit shy. 'Are you walking home?' I ask. 'Yes why?' He asked as he frowned. 'I just love a good walk.' I replied. 'I do too.' He said with a big grin. 'I'll just call my mom to aks if it's okay.' He nodded he didn't feel to comfortable around the word mom. As soon as i got het permission we went it was even colder then last time luckily i was wearing a scarf and his beanie. The trees were colourfull i loved fall it was a beautiful season the cold weather the rain storms i could really enjoy that and it was the perfect weather to drink tea. Riley was looking at me i smiled at him. 'What?' I asked getting a little shy. 'Nothing, you just seem so peacefull out here.' He said smiling. 'I am i really love fall.' I said and let out a little sigh. 'That beanie looks really good on you.' He said. 'Thank you.' I felt that i was blushing.

Riley's POV

We sat down on my couch with a cup of tea, i thought i might tell her about how i felt about her. She was looking at me like she expected me to talk first well it was my idea after all. 'How come that you're so scared of getting it again?' I asked. 'Cancer is not an uncommon thing in my family for example some of them had to deal with it multiple times even after they were "healed" and you don't always win you know?' She struggled telling about it. 'But you're a tough one.' I said and she smiled a little bit. 'But if it comes back i don't know if i can go through that again if i wil hold on last time i had moments were i litterly thought i was going to die.' She was biting away the tears i must have been so hard for her i take her hand. 'You are a real warrior.' I said she nodded.

I was breathing in and out thinking of the right moment to tell her about how i felt. 'Ruby there is something i want to open up to you about.' I said quietly. 'What is it?' She sounded like she already knew what i was going to say she pulled her hand back a little bit. 'You know what is don't you?' I asked. She looked down and sighed she slowly looked up again at me and she nodded. 'Don't tell me that we are just friends because i'm sure feel you it too.' She didn't say anything. 'I know you want to close your eyes and ignore it but you can't close your heart.' I said. 'I know...' she whispered. 'I don't want to get attatched to you to lose you afterwards.' She said after a shor silence. 'You don't have to.' I answered. 'I never felt so safe.' She said while staring at something. 'Do you feel safe with me?' I asked surprised. She smiles and looks at me 'You have no clue.'

She puts her hand on mine. 'Why don't we give it a try?' I asked quietly. 'But what if...' She couldn't finish her sentence because i interupted her 'I got hit by a car tommorow or what if i have pneumothorax? You can never know what happens you can't live your life in fear Ruby i know you scared but that doens't mean you can't fall in love right?' I said to her. 'Wether you have cancer or not i will always be by your side.' I said.

Ruby's POV

My hearts beating so fast right now i'm scared it's going to explode and my mind and heart are having yes, no argument. I can't do anything but stare at him he's waiting for an answer but i'm not sure if he's going to get one. But he's is right thought i am living my life in fear.  if he tells me now that he is in love with me i have no idea what i'm going to do. 'Ruby i'm just in love with you and i and i want to be with you.' Fuck! I sigh my hear has definedly won the battle i put my other hand on his and nod.

His eyes got big. 'I want to be with you to.' I said. He smiles a before i even realize it he pulls me in for a hug but i wrap my hands quickly around his neck. I would want to stay in his arms forever, but that's not the only thing i want to do right now he looks up at me we're sharing the same thought. He leans in and kisses me carefully like i'm made out of porcelain i never want to lose this feeling.

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I still haven't gotten any feedback or votes well i'm extremly greatful to everyone who just reads it that already means a lot to me so keep doing what you're doing