Hold on

Chapter 7- Pain

Ruby's POV

Winter comes around it's getting colder outside days are shorter. And i have to go to the hospital i wish i just could hide somewhere. I am incredibly nervous and most of all terrified that they're going to find something.I hear Riley sigh next to me i turn my head to him and see that he has an annoyed look on his face, i immediately stop shaking my leg 'I'm sorry.' I whisper scince we're in English class. He looks a at me with a faint smile and puts his hand on mine. 'I get that you're nervous.' I just nodd.

I was really hoping that time would be on my side today but obviously i was wrong. Before i even realised it school ended and i had to go to my appointement. I know i asked Riley to come with me but i think it's better if i just go without him. I walk through the doors and as soon as i see my mom's car i walk up to it untill i hear him calling for me. 'Ruby wait!' I hear him yell i turn around as fast as i can i runs up to me and hugs me tight. 'Whatever happens today i don't want it to change what we have.' He whispers. He pulls back but still holds on to me. 'Good luck sweetheart.' He says with a faint smile. I get into the car watching Riley fade away, slipping away in my thoughts what are they going to do a MRI scan or are they just or just listen to my breathing either way the thought of them finding something terrifies me.

'Was that Riley?' My mom asks pulling me out of my thoughts. 'Yes...' I say a little shy. 'He seems to be a very caring person.' She says while paying attention to the road. I smile just thinking of him makes me feel happy. 'He is, he's really sweet i feel safe with him.' I say looking down at my hands. 'I can tell.' She says. The drive doesn't take long since we moved closed to the hospital, even though i am healed my parents still wanted to move they didn't buy the doctors bullshit either they always said: 'You never know if something can go wrong again so let's take no risks.' As i see the hospital comming closer my heart drops, i hate this place. 

When we walk throught the door the hospital hits me it already makes me feel sick. We have to go up to the 5th floor to meet doctor Hemmington it' been 2 years since i've seen him, he's a very good doctor really nice but i'd just rather not talk about diseases. My mom and i are waiting for him to call us she has been holding my hand the entire time. 'Mom, do you know what they're going do?' I asked quietly. 'Probably they're just going to take a picture of your lungs, ask you if you have pain that those kind of things.'  

'Miss Ferras?' I hear the familiar voice say it's doctor Hemmington, my consultation will begin my faith will be on the table here it's weird how a desease can make the difference between life and death. I get up and walk in to his office.

'So take seat.' I do as he says. 'We'll be taking a photo of your lungs today and if we see anything suspicious we'll have to make an appointment for an mri scan.' He explains i nod. 'Now tell me about the complaints you've been having.' He says. I want to start explaining but my mom is faster than i am. 'Well doctor she has been having these chestpains again.' She explains. 'It was only one time, it's not a big deal.' I say calm. 'Ruby! Don't say that it could be just bigger than that.' I don't want it to be. 'Hyperventilating could that have something to do with it?' I say very quietly like i want nobody to hear. 'Yes there could possibly be a tumor blocking your air pipe.' I just nod 

Many hours of waiting later and the doctor checking out my breathing he told me that my breathing is in fact labored and that it could be something blocking my trachea. We get back in his office he put the photo's on a lightend board. 'We can see that there's indeed something blocking your tranchea here, it's small so it can't really cause to much trouble except if you get scared and hyperventilate you won't be able to get enough air.' He explains. 'So you have to try to not stress out, but we will have to do more research if it is a tumor which it probably is we will have to remove it with surgery and if we find any more cancer cells you'll have to do chemo.' He says carefully to redeem the shock. 'I'm sorry.' I says at last. 'So, did i relapse.' I ask. 'We don't completely know that for sure the MRI scan will point that out and i would suggest that we plan that in about 2 weeks?' He asks. My mom agrees and puts her hand on mine. Even though we don't know for sure i am already panicking. I feel like somebody's choking me i need fresh air. 'Are you okay?' My mom aks with concern. 'Yeah, i just need to get fresh air.' I say. 

Riley's POV

I have been waiting all day long for a text a call but all get is emptiness it makes me nervous what if something bad has happened, i just couldn't handle that. I wonder how she's been keeping up with it i know she would be devestated if they would find something and she would have to go through all this crap again. I have done all my homework, walked up and down stairs about 20 times, drank 5 cups of coffee i'm probably hyper maybe it would've been better if i was there with here or maybe i would just make things worse. I lay myself down on my bed and rub my forehead and decide to stare at the ceiling.

My phone is ringing, i rub the sleep out of my eyes i fell a sleep after 10 minutes i was sleepier than i thought i was. I grap my phone off the nightstand and answer. 'Ruby sweetheart?' I ask my voice sound raspy. 'Hi...' She mutters her voice sounds shaky which obviously means there's bad news. 'What did they say?' I say and sit up straight. 'They found something.' She starts it sounds like she is close to crying. 'Yeah' I answer waiting for more information. 'Um...well there is someting that is possibly a tumor that's keeping me from breathing regular and normal they'll have to remove it.' She says i just know she's fighting the tears i can tell by the sound of her voice. 'And they're going to do a MRI scan to check if is a tumor for sure and if there are any more cancer cells if so i'll have do chemo and go to all that shit again.' She hit the breaking point she is sobbing right now i wish i could hold her my hear hurts. 'There's a chance i'll relapse.' She cries. I feel like someone just stabbed me right in the chest i don't want her to cry ever. 'I'm coming over.' I insist. 'No.' She says. 'Yes i am, you have no choice.' I don't care in know she needs me right now. 'Bye.' She says softly. 'Bye babe.' I reply.