My sunshine

Chapter 4: Dark choices

(I just want to say sorry for making these few chapters pretty depressing but remember Annabelle is going through a lot  at the moment . That doesn't mean it's gonna last forever so don't worry too much thanks)
After our little talk we split ways, Danica walked home and Victoria and I walked to my place. It was quiet and pretty chilly outside, I could sense Victoria looking at me but I ignored it. I didn't want to talk about what happened, "hey... Maybe I can ask my mom if I can sleepover" she smiled hoping I would smile back but instead I just shrugged.
When we got home Victoria's mom was already starting the car. "Hey you two where have you been?" "Oh just out..." I said with a fake smile, I unlocked my front door and turned around to say bye. Victoria gave a a sympathetic smile and climbed into her mom's car. I guess she wasn't sleeping over but I was kinda glad because I didn't want company at the moment.
I decided to take a bath after the long day I've had. I made the water nice and warm, not too cool and not too hot. As I sat there I started to think of the good times and how different it was now. Thoughts in my mind became dark, I didn't know what was happening.
When I got out I saw a box where I kept it. I meant to throw it away so I didn't have to do it again. I really didn't want to but I completely lost my mind. I took out what was inside the box and laid it on the palm of my hand. It was small but deadly, I wanted to think about it, I really did but my mind just pushed me into doing something I wasn't supposed to. But it happened, one wrist to the next. I saw the last collection I had already fading away but I started a new, at first I saw red but then everything was becoming blurry.
I cursed under my breath, I was so stupid. "What did I do!" Blood was all over my arm. I quickly dialed Danica's number on my phone and she picked up after the second ring. "Annabelle?" She said confusingly "Help... Please I think it went too far" I was already struggling from just trying to speak and I can sense that Danica panicking on the other line  "WHAT! HOLY SHIT! I'LL CALL THE AMBULANCE OKAY, STAY STRONG ANNABELLE! ANNABELLE?!" After that it all went black.
When I woke up I was in a hospital bed feeling more awful then the time when I threw up after riding an intense rollercoaster. I looked around to find flowers on a near by table and my mom's bag on the chair next to me. The door suddenly opened and in came my mom, "Annabelle! Thank god!" My mom hugged me and kissed my forehead, "why am I here?" I said all confused, I totally forgot what happened until I felt a sharp pain on my left arm. "You cut yourself honey..." She looked like she was about to burst out in tears but I understood why, "the doctor said you cut too deep and cut open a vein."
I looked at my arm and gave my mom a apologetic smile, I felt bad she had to go through this. My whole arm was stinging and wrapped in bandages, I couldn't move it one bit. "I'm sorry mommy" I looked down in shame because of what I did and how I wasn't strong enough to stop myself. "Don't cry dear, things happen I'm just glad you're okay." She kissed my forehead again and smiled at me, I couldn't resist and smiled back.
I looked at the medical chart at the back of the room stating the state I was in and how I was doing.
Doctor: Dr. Harlem
Condition: open vein
State: stable
Operation: in need of stitching
Days spent: 3 days
My eyes widened when I saw how long I was here, "mom... Was I really here for three days?" My mom my sighed and nodded yes, "the doctors had to see if you were stable to get stitches and decided the operation would happen a few days after you woken up." I looked at the ceiling, it was plain white and it reminded me of my school ceiling.
"How long will I be here?" I said still staring up into space. My mom didn't even know the answer, "you have to heal first-" "but what about school?" I didn't mean to cut her off but I was really curious. I didn't really miss the school itself or the work but I did miss my friends, I felt bad that I never thought of them especially at a time like that. "The school understands and I think right now you just have to take it easy and rest." My mom got up and went to go call the doctor and tell him I was awake.
     A few minutes passed and the doctor came in the room with my mom following behind. He gave me a friendly smile and I waved at him with the arm that was still functional and not covered in bandages. "Well look whose up. How you feeling?" He said checking my blood pressure and such, "fine, I guess." I said looking out the window, "it's so nice out." He turned and stood up so he can look out as well. The sun was out and I can see the hospitals garden, bright green meets soft pinks and blues. I really wish I was outside and not in this hospital bed.
     We heard the door knob turn and in walked a kind looking lady. She was short, skinny and wore glasses. I've never seen her in my life until now and was wondering if she got the wrong room. She greeted the doctor and shook hands with my mom, she then turned to me and gave me a kind smile and reached out her hand. "You must be Annabelle. I'm Elizabeth Macee also known as Doctor Macee, nice to meet you young lady." I shook her hand and she can tell I was confused. She didn't look like a regular doctor, she wasn't wearing a doctors' coat and looked really young.
     "I'm a therapist here in the hospital, mind if I ask you some questions?" I looked at my mom but she mouthed the words it's okay. I nodded and she took a seat on the chair next to me. "So how's school? What's been going on?" She pulled out a notepad and pen waiting for me to respond, "it's good, my grades are fine but you know parents want me to achieve a higher average." I laughed but I knew it was a fake.
     I watched her write and wondered what she was jotting down, she asked me questions for about 10 minutes. How are friendships?, do you feel included in school? And many more. I answered them all truthfully, I didn't see a reason not to. She then asked the question I really didn't want to answer, "so... Do you have a boyfriend?" I looked at the ceiling and said "no, we broke up about a week ago or so." She nodded slowing and was looking at my arm, "was that the reason..." She pointed at my bandaged arm looking at me sympathetically. I shrugged, I didn't know how to answer that without it sounding stupid.
     She touched my hand and told me I can trust her and that she was just trying to help. "Well maybe..." I said thinking about it, "but not entirely, I don't know I just snapped. I wasn't thinking properly and it just happened, the next thing you know I was almost bleeding to death." She touched my hand to try and comfort me but I knew it was an act of stupidity. "Look don't think you're stupid or something, these things happen to many people but that's what I'm here for okay." She smiled and I smiled back, I felt kinda happy that someone understands.
     My mom then came in with my dinner and greeted both of us. Dr. Macee stood up and put away her things in her purse, "well better get going." She said waving bye to my mom and I. "Dr. Macee!" I yelled before she walked out the door, "thanks for talking to me, it really helped." I smiled, she laughed and said "no problem Annabelle, and by the way call me Liza (pronounced like Lisa) it's short for Elizabeth."
     My mom helped me eat my dinner and told me that my operation to get stitches was happening in a day or 2. I really just wanted to get out of here but something was telling me that's gonna be a long time from now.