My sunshine

Chapter 15: Lance's past...

We ended up taking the pizza to go and took the bus to my house. The whole ride there he was quiet, his face was slightly red because of his tears earlier. I really wanted to talk to him but I didn't know what to say, I didn't want to force him to tell me something so personal. When we got off the bus and started walking he asked if it was okay if we hang out on the swings at the park for awhile. Even though it was 9:00p.m. there was still sun outside, him and I walked through the field that lead to the playground which was surprising not occupied by anyone. We sat on the swings for a moment watching the cars drive by, it was silent for awhile until he started to speak again. "So... you're probably wondering the reasons why I smoke." I turned to him but we never made eye contact he just kept staring forward watching the cars. "I never really tell any one this, the friends you saw me with at the convention don't even know... The only person who does is Zoey. I'm adopted, not only that but I watched my mom die right in front of me."

At that moment I felt a single tear come out of my eye, I felt horrible just a few minutes ago I called him stupid for smoking and always thought he never really cared about anyone but he's actually been through a lot. "My mom is originally from Japan but had to work in France for better money because she comes from a poor family, it was in France where she met my dad and had me. I never met my dad, he was never around I remember my mom telling me he didn't love us so I just forgot about him. I was 3 when my mom saved enough money for us to move back to Japan and live in this house that was owned by my uncle that was always out of town, in the processes of moving back my mom got really sick. It became worst and worst the more she worked but it was the only way she provided things like food and clothes, sometimes she wouldn't even eat because we didn't have enough food. She would always let me have it... The food, I always knew she was tired and sick and I tired offering it to her many times but she just wouldn't take it. Although she was suffering the most she always had the brightest smile, one that would be able to replace the sun. One day she just stopped standing up and had to stay home and not work, our neighbor would come by and give us some food but I always gave it to my mom because I thought that if she ate more she would get better and would stand again. One day my mom wanted to talk to me about something, it was a promise. She said, "Lance promise me you will find someone that will love you for who you are and once you find them never let them go okay darling?" I remember responding with, "but I love you mama!" and her giving me a warm kiss on the forehead. I was now 6 years old with both my legs and arms as thin as tooth picks, my bones as brittle as an old person's. I got up to bring my mom some breakfast when..."

I saw the pain in his eyes like he was reliving the horrific scene of his mom lying lifeless in that bed she's been living in for a good 3 years. "Lance... It's okay I understand, I don't want you to tell me if it brings back painful memories." Then he finally turned to me with tears flowing down his face, I never thought I would ever see him cry as much as he was now. Without thinking I give him a big hug trying to calm him down he just hugged me back and didn't let go until he made sure no more tears were left. It was already 10:30 p.m. and I already have a feeling I was in deep shit for staying out late with him but after what he just told me I didn't care.

We were about to say good bye when I stared at him, at his face and the pain that was on it a moment ago. Tears started coming out of my eyes, "why are you crying now?" He asked looking confused. I tried wiping my face feeling embarrassed because it was so sudden. "I just feel so bad for judging you before... calling you stupid for smoking, I even thought you were so rude because you thought it made you look cool or something but you actually have such a painful past... I'm just... I-" he came up to my face and wiped my tears away telling me I shouldn't cry. I looked up at his eyes and saw that they changed color, last time I saw them they were steely blue but now they were silvery grey.

His hand rested on my face for a while and made me turn red, he finally realized what he was doing and quickly pulled his hand away. "um... I should really go now my parents are going to kill me." I said pointing towards my front door. "yeah um bye..." he said walking away "Hey Annabelle!" he yelled before completely leaving, "you're pretty ugly when you cry." When I heard what he said I almost ran after him just so I could punch him in the face. "shut up stupid you're the one who cried first!" I yelled back. he came back laughing, "I was just joking, but you're pretty adorable when you cry!" and like that he ran off into the night.

Me: well I'm grounded now for staying out late with a boy
Danica: what actually damn you and that Lance guy have been pretty close
Me: lol it's nothing serious we're just friends you know
Danica: that may be but you have to admit he's pretty cute
Me: I can't say that isn't true
Danica: :))) ohhh I smell a love story happening
Me: oh please he doesn't see me in that way
Danica: sureeee look you can say whatever you want but you never know how he actually feels about you
Me: lol okay say whatever you want
Danica: so why were you out with him in the first place? And why so late?
Me: long story short we were just hanging out until I caught him smoking
Danica: oh no isn't that a huge turn off for you
Me: yes but why would it even matter?
Danica: lol doesn't matter continue...
Me: he basically told me about his past and I'm just going to say he's adopted
Danica: oh wow that's a lot to take in
Me: yeah it was pretty sad, he even cried
Danica: aw it looks like his heart isn't so cold
Me: omg I have something to tell you! He laid his hand on my face and it stayed there for awhile...
Danica: OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!

*2 new messages from Lance*
Lance: hey thanks for listening to me today
Lance: it really means a lot
     For some reason my heart raced at the thought that he was texting me. I just couldn't help smiling, "no Annabelle you can not like him! He is just a friend... nothing more." I really didn't want to fall for him, there wasn't anything wrong with him it was just that I liked our friendship and didn't want to ruin it like I did with Glenn. We used to be such good friends and now we don't even talk.

Me: hey Lance lol it's no problem!
Me: thanks for telling me
Lance: well it wouldn't be fair to hide something from my best friend
Me: hahaha... Well it's getting pretty late... Talk to you tomorrow?
Lance: sure, good night Annabelle
Me: good night

I couldn't help but think of Lance and how much I learmed about him today. At the beginning I could tell he was so distant, even with his friends. Before he was just a stanger that looked like my favourite anime character but now he's different. I know he's hard working and doesn't take bullshit from anyone. He also has a soft side and hides his true feelings, he is now also my best friend and I'm learning more about him everyday. I just hope my depression doesn't get in the way of anything.