New York tale (Ian Eastwood fanfic)

Chapter 26- The Holidays Without Him

Chapter 26-

-Chelsea's P.O.V-

It was now December 31st, New Years Eve which I spent at home alone. Of course Samantha was throwing a New Year's party but I didn't feel like going. I wasn't really in the party mood. 

I didn't feel like being around a lot of people I didn't really know. I just wanted to be with Ian, or at least just with my friends again, but I knew that I couldn't go back to the way things were after everything.

It was finally setting in and hitting me hard that Ian was away. For so many weeks I ignored it and pushed it further and further into my mind, distracting myself with school work as much as possible.

But now that I didn't have school or much homework, I was just at home, alone. While my boyfriend was in some other country, doing what he loves the most.

I laid on the couch with long grey house pants and the black young lions t-shirt, watching the performances and count downs on various channels. Skipping back and forth until I saw someone I liked.

I heard the doorbell ring. I groaned, rolling my eyes and getting up frustrated. "Who is it?" I called.

"It's me..I wanted to see you" I heard Justin say. I unlocked the door and swung it open, feeling the cool air hit me. Justin's hair was a little longer, still down and a little more facial hair. He had black sneakers, blue jeans and a coat, slightly open to reveal what looked like a grey button up shirt.

"Hi" was all I could say. "Hi..can I come in it's kind of cold out here". I looked around outside, past Justin and I snapped out of it, turning my attention towards him once again. "Huh? oh uh yea, I guess, come in"

I stepped aside and let Justin walk past me. I shut the door as Justin laid his coat on the arm of the couch.

"So uhm, why'd you come here? I thought you were at Samantha's party" I asked, sitting on the love seat beside the couch. 

"I was, but I wasn't really having as much fun with out you, it's not the same without you and Sam, So I wanted to check up on you, see how you were doing and if you're okay.." He shrugged, gazing over at me. "Oh..okay, well I'm fine but thanks"

"Yea..You're not fine.." He shifted his way to the corner of the couch, leaning on the arm rest, closer to me. "What..Yea I am"

He shook his head. "No you're not. The Chelsea I know would've been at that party having fun and not giving a fuck about anything. She would've been enjoying herself and making friends with others. Now you're just sitting here alone watching tv. I don't know if it's because of Samantha or Ian, but you have to get back to having fun."

"I have fun. I'm just not in the mood to go anywhere this time. I'm fine" I defended though he was partly right.

"You miss him a lot don't you?" He added. 

"Well yea, but what does that have to do with anything?" I asked. "You're more detached from everyone and you look lost, like part of you is missing"

I nodded, looking down at the floor. He was definitely right. I was missing part of me. "There's also something else I wanted to ask you." He said hesitantly.

I looked back up at him, wondering what else he was going to say. "Okay. Ask" 

"It's been bothering me for a while, I was trying to shake it off but I just need to know. Did you mean it when you said all our hook up's meant nothing to you?" He paused, afraid he was pushing his limits.

Taking in a deep breath, I confessed, "Well, yes and no. Months ago, in the moments we had and we did that, they did mean a lot to me but I can't hold on to that, I'm sorry but you know that I-"