The Sinful Love Of Hatred

Chapter 3

The walk back to Hotel Dumort was oddly long and quiet. Raphael left Camille lock up before he pulls Simon into his room.

He pulls Simon closer by his jacket and kissed him deeply. Simon pushed him away, he was stronger than Raphael in any way possible.

"Is this how you treat your life saver? Lip locking huh? I thought you were the almighty Clan leader Raphael Santiago still in reign?"

Simon words were like snake venom, hurtful. Raphael looked in his eyes, it was all blank. All blank with hatred.

"No...Simon... no.."
"Sorry Mr Santiago, please refer me as Mr Lewis."

Simon left him a sarcastic grin before slamming the doors behind him. Raphael collapsed onto the floor, clutching his heart. He can hear Stan voice with Simon's voice. He can hear that Simon and Stan were kissing. Just by his door.

Darling Raphael, we are, still not over. This is just the start.

Raphael's fist tightened, he had this urge to throw all the stuff in the room. All the stuff. Instead, he closed his eyes and went on the bed and dug out something that was a permanent item on his bed. Simon's long lost jacket.

- That Day

Sires were supposed to bring their fledglings out for hunting. And Raphael threw a tantrum before bringing Simon out. Which he calls by 'annoying scum'. The worst thing was they were soulmates. This made Raphael wants to tear out his throat even more.

The hunt was successful, but they did not expect a demon attack. They handled all of them but Raphael's clothes were torn.

Raphael rolled his eyes and a jacket popped up. Simon offered his batman jacket to Raphael, the one he love. Raphael had no choice but to accept, and when they reach the hotel, Raphael said he will clean it up before returning. But, he never returned i back. Instead, he kept it with him for years. So many years. He refuses to acknowledge the fact that he is in love. He refuses to accept the fact that Simon is his soulmate. For so many years. He finds Simon a distraction. He wants to get rid of him forever.

But when he feels the wave of pain from the rejection, he finally knows he is helplessly in love with Simon. But it was all too late. All too late.

Raphael touched his lips delicately with slight happiness. He will make sure Simon forgives him. He will get back Simon, he will get him back.

"Let's go to my apartment?"
"Sure si."

Simon held Stan's hand tight, trying hard to make himself look happy. Even though he is kissing him, he felt nothing. Not that wave of happiness when Raphael shot him a smile, complimenting him. Not that love he feels, not those butterflies he feels in his stomach just now when Raphael kissed him.

Vicious words came out of his mouth smoothly, like it was meant to be, like he mean it. And he mean it, and it was meant to be said.

He feel coldness like never before, tugging his heart, ripping him of for feeling any sort of feelings. Being with Stan didn't help, it didn't. It was revenge, but he didn't feel happiness. He couldn't bring himself to love Stan like how he love Raphael. He is crippled to feel anything for anyone. Raphael broke him.

"Si? Si!"
"Uh, what?"
"Do you still want to go your place or..?"
"Stan, i'm tired. I will head home alone."
"But-"

Stan was broke off by a tender kiss from Simon. A gentle peck on the lips. Stan bite his bottom lips in embarrassment and happiness before bidding goodbye to the already leaving Simon. Simon waved goodbye and left, leaving nothing.

- Raphael

Raphael knew the exact moment when Simon step out of the Hotel Dumort and he move fast. Following him. Raphael knows he must know he is following him. All because of the slower pace and the lingering grin when Simon purposefully turned his back.

Simon changed, completely. He wasn't that of a sunshine anymore, he became cold. He wins at everything Raphael knew he himself couldn't. To be cruel to him. To spit those vicious words. To make that evil smirk. To be nonchalant about everything. His Simon was the sunny little teenager with happiness and positive attitude. He isn't the 18 years old boy, he is now 38 and cruel. Simon is indifferent to everything, like how he did the past 20 years ago towards him. It's been 7 years since his Shadowhunters friends died in the horrible incident with him witnessing everything and he couldn't do anything to protect them, to save them. Raphael heard everything, felt everything. He felt his heart crack a little whenever Simon broke down in tears. And that 1 year of doll-like living. He basically live his life like a manipulated doll, easily controlled, lifeless.

And yet he did nothing, and was happy that he was so upset. Until finally 20 years, he broke him. He broke Simon into bits and pieces. And to Simon now, dating, loving, having sex was just easing an itch, fixing the screw, putting something in place.

He knows Simon viewed love as something holy, respectable. Yet, he trampled over his love like crushed biscuits. But when he offered his heart in a silver platter, the latter scoffs at it.

"I've reached my apartment, i don't suppose Raphael Santiago needs to make sure his life saver is safe at the doorstep huh?"

Raphael was so filled with his thoughts he didn't know he was just standing infront of Simon. A smirking Simon.

He pulls him and kissed him, letting his hands wandered. Everything turned messy, and Simon didn't reject him.

- The next day
"Didn't know Raphael Santiago would be so enthusiastic about offering his own body to his life saver. Don't tell me that you offered your body to the other Clan leaders if they wanted."

Simon forms a sarcastic laughter, laughing at the undressed Raphael. Raphael fumbles through his ebony hair, straightening the messy curls. He raise his head, seeing a topless Simon with a towel wrapped around his waist and dripping wet hair.

He was momentarily overwhelmed and lost his words upon the sight.

"What about Stan?"
"Stan? Oh, what he doesn't knows doesn't hurt him."

Simon made it clear. He didn't wanted Stan to know. But he somehow deep in his heart, he wants to see Stan's reaction when he know everything.

"Don't even think about it."

Raphael whipped his head up in shock and slowly drops his head down. Till now, till everything, he only cared about Stan.

Simon Lewis, what if i say i love you? What jf i really am in love with you?