Mostly Super Heroes

Chapter 1

My name is Isaac De'Navera and if you are reading this you are about to discover my extraordinary secrets. If you're a superhero do not judge. If you are an ordinary being go on believing this is fantasy. And if you are a villain there is no point using this against me. I have nothing to fear within these pages, so read on...

If you hadn't guessed I am a superhero. By day I am a antisocial nerd, by night a dumb sidekick for the powerless, power hungry Ninja and Tracker; the best superheroes in Rune City. I do have powers, yet I was shunned into cleaning their harpoons and ironing their super suits. They called me Newton (which is a totally stupid name) because I can change the laws of gravity. My powers were pretty cool, but no one cared; they would rather idolize the others. Ninja and Tracker weren't even good superheroes. They'd been hunting down the same villains for years and hadn't tracked them down. The infamous twins Phoenix and Phantom. If I even mentioned their names, Ninja would karate kick me into a wall.

I sat opposite these two superheroes in their lair while they whispered their plans. They never included me. Every so often they threw glances at me before turning away. Ninja was a eighteen year old (two years older than me) woman with black hair and blue eyes. I suppose you could call her pretty, I call her boss. Tracker was the same age but he looked older, his grey hair and eyes made him seem seventy. He barked at me to get them something to drink. I sighed and reluctantly went to make them some coffee. This was what my life had been reduced to, I wish I'd never tried to help them that day.

The day my life changed had been a perfectly normal. I had gone with my parents to the museum when the twins tried to steal this huge diamond. I had been looking at war paintings when they ran past straight towards the diamond. Someone called the guards, but they were up to their necks already, literally. They had sunk through the floors up to their necks before it solidified, leaving them trapped. Ninja and Tracker suddenly came charging, their best heroic faces plastered on, but Phantom had set a trap and they were sinking into the floor too. Everyone was fleeing from the melted floor, leaving just me alone on the ceiling where I had conveniently floated to. Trying to look heroic, I sent the diamond flying towards the ceiling with my powers, but Phoenix jumped and teleported to it, before teleporting back to the ground and running off. Phantom quickly followed suit, solidifying the marble floors. Ninja and Tracker stared at me in awe; I don't think they'd met someone with powers before (apart from the villains). They offered me a job and I gladly accepted. Boy do I regret that now.

I handed them their coffees, before walking off. But then a thought struck me; why couldn't I listen to their plans? I was as important as they were. I was the one who worked out that the twins were really only going after jewels. I was the one who found out Monkey Man's lair - the only villain they ever beat (because he was so stupid). Levitating myself, I floated above their table, "No one knows him anyway, they wouldn't miss him," stated Tracker
"Still, he's been really helpful. I don't think this is the way to repay him," argued Ninja. I wondered who they were talking about.
"But it would; the kid's always wanted a chance to shine! Newton would love it!" I couldn't believe it; were they actually going to let me do a mission?! My dream had always been to go and save the world, and I was finally getting the chance! I could probably let the friends comment go if I was really going on a mission!
"Let's see what he thinks then, shall we?"

Quickly I dropped down by the coffee machine, and tried to act natural. They strutted over in their matching black leather suits, "Newton, my man!" cried Tracker, throwing his arm around me, "How would you like to be part of a daring car chase, followed by your own solo mission?!"
"Hell yeah!"
"Wait a moment boys, don't you want to know what the mission is first?" intervened Ninja, sitting me down, "We are going to chase the twins in their car -we installed a tracker in their car-"
"Wait, I thought they were my age!" I interrupted.
"They are."
"Then they're too young to drive!"
"Do you really think these bitches obey the rules?! Of course not!" said Tracker.
"As I was saying, we will chase them and try and catch them. If we don't, we'll just follow them to their hideout where you ,Newton, will go and scope the place out. Got it?"
"Got it. Do I get cool gadgets?!"
"You get the usual. Don't push your luck."

***

We sped down the motorway in our black car, swerving round civilians in a vain attempt to catch up with the speeding red Lamborghini; man could villains choose a car. Tracker drove while Ninja sat in the back with her laptop. I was in the passenger seat with a machine gun hanging out the window. I was to fire when I had a clear shot. Ninja tapped into their car and their voices filled the car:-
"Right now he's probably slow dancing with a bleached-blond tramp,
And she's probably getting frisky...
Right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink
'Cause she can't shoot whiskey...
Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool stick,
Showing her how to shoot a combo...

And he don't know...

That I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive,
Carved my name into his leather seats...
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
Slashed a hole in all four tires...
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats

Right now, she's probably up singing some
White-trash version of Shania karaoke.
Right now, she's probably saying, "I'm drunk"
And he's a-thinking that he's gonna get lucky,
Right now, he's probably dabbing on
3 dollars worth of that bathroom Polo..." The deadliest super villains in the city liked... country music! Truly evil.

It was obviously Phoenix singing as Phantom was driving and smoking a cigar. Suddenly the voices turned darker, and the rooftop window slid open...
"That I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive,
Carved my name into his leather seats,
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
Slashed a hole in all four tires...
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl,
'Cause the next time that he cheats...
Oh, you know it won't be on me!

No... not on me," Phoenix jumped onto the car roof and brought out a red hot cat o'nine tails (a really painful whip), but carried on humming the song all the same. Using her whip, Phoenix slashed holes into the tyres  of the cars each side of her making them swerving into us. She waved as her car dipped into the horizon. Tracker ,more frustrated than ever, drove on, pushing aside the punctured cars. We tore down the roads after the red Lamborghini which was heading into the outskirts of the city. Soon they had completely disappeared from view. We kept driving till we found them walking up the pavement, their car blocking the road, "From here you go alone."

An ear piece and two pistols. That's all I ever got. They read my mission to me once again before they turned off the ear piece -making it completely pointless- and pushed me out the car. I trudged down the cracked pavement after the twins. The only other sign of life was the weeds poking out the tarmac. They slid into the house at the very end of the street, and I had to run to catch the door before it closed. It was probably five stories, the house, but it looked as though there had been a fire, as most of the floors had blackened bricks and scorch marks on the tinted windows. As I stepped inside, my ear piece buzzed and I heard a snippet of their conversation, "...Priceless! Can you believe that the kid actually agreed to the suicide mission!"
"I know, right?! What are we going to tell the press?"
"He ran off because he's stupid and got killed by the twins, firing up the towns hate for them further. And if we act all grieving, they'll love us more!"
I couldn't believe it... They wouldn't... But yet, I knew that that was exactly what they would do. I hated them. With every fiber in my body. And I was going to get back at them, I had a plan.