Ever Enough (Girlxgirl)

CHAPTER 13

"So, just to freak you out, they split it down the middle." I glared at Chris, who was staring out of the library window. Mia was playing with my fingers, twirling the rings I had on, ignoring Chris all together. One short afternoon told me they hated each other. But I put my foot down after she'd thrown a tantrum throwing the Ruby thing in her face, and that seemed to shut her up.

"They what?" I asked. He rolled his eyes. "They're going to remove the testies, so you don't produce testosterone any longer, then they are going to split your penis in half, down the middle, and I won't go into much detail, but they will turn it inside out. Like a vagina." I nodded, frowning. "Will I pee out of the same hole that I would have sex with? Or would it be like...totally the same as a girls?" He sighed. "I suppose it would be a vagina, Casey. I'm not your doctor, okay? I assume that since you paid for a vagina, they will give you exactly that." I nodded. "And what will I do for estrogen?"

"Oh my god, Casey! You will take pills! To keep a girly firgure and make sure your facial hair doesn't grow. It could be dangerous if you don't, considering you wouldn't be producing testosterone because your testies will be gone. Now stop asking me questions." I mimicked him and turned to Mia, kissing her pouty lips. "Oh, you remember me?" She said with venom. "Hey, don't get mad at me, I'm not the hater here."

I don't know exactly why I was so comfortable with these two. Even if they hated each other. They were my favorite people.

"I want you to hang out with today," Mia whined. I smiled. "I have shots today. And family therapy." She let out a breath and attacked my lips with her. I let out a suprised yelp and kissed her back. When we broke apart, Chris was still looking out of the window, ignoring us. "Well, I'm going to miss you," I smiled and put my forehead on hers, our noses touching. "I'm going to miss you more."  

*** 

The room was pretty much silent. Travis was glaring at the clock on the wall, my baby brother was playing with toys, my mom was sitting patiently, and my dad slouched, looking like a deflated balloon almost. I hated my family. Right when I thought it couldn't get much worse, my phone rang. The death glare I got from my dad, The lazy glance from my mother. I decided to answer it, getting up, walking out of the room. "I told you I had family therapy!" I whisper shouted into the phone. The line was quiet. "I know, I was with Ruby a while ago. And we were talking..."

"What else?" I asked. "She kissed me...?" My heart dropped. "Was that the reason you called me? Th confess your infidelity?" There was a sharp intake of breath from the other line. I was about to hang up, but she started blabbering into the phone, crying.

"No, please don't be mad, I didn't know she was going to kiss me, I thought she was being friendly-" I was too pissed to hear it. "Ruby is never fucking friendly, Mia! Why do you think she's taken an intrest in you? It was to get to me, through you. It was her plan, and I know you kissed her back." There was nothing but her sobs for a few minutes. "Don't break up with me," She sobbed into the phone.

I couldn't even think clearly. She cheated. I knew it would happen, but things were okay between us. They had been. There was shuffling and shouting on the other line before it went dead. My heart beat in my chest painfully. It made me want to lay down and die.

Of all the things Ruby has done, I think this has been the most antisipated and fucked up thing. She knew that when I fell, I crashed. I fell in love too easily.

But I don't love her. Do I? Do I love Ruby? Is that why it hurts? Because I fell for Mia and loved Ruby and it hurt to know they both would betray me? Is it because I'm unlovable? What with my need to be a girl and need to be loved?

My skin itched. My head hurt. That one phone call, those words, changed everything in one instant. Making it hard to breath. Like and elephant was sitting on my chest, so my breahing was short, quick, and clipped. So my eyes stung with tears that I knew weren't going to fall. I was going to go back in that room, pretend it was nothing, go home, pretend it was nothing, go to bed, pretend it was nothing, go to school pretend it was nothing. The only time I didn't pretend it was nothing was when the blade hit the skin.

And Mia had my blade. But I could get another. My promise was already broken. It was long gone. It flew out of the window. I guess sort of like the way Mia's feeling for me had when she kissed Ruby.

Just when I was going to go back to the room, I got a text. It was from an anonymous number. It was a picture. Of Ruby and Mia. Yes, they were kissing, both looking equally into it.

The text said; It's going to get a lot worse. Wait until tomorrow.

And I think that's all I could do. Wait for tomorrow. Wait for her to gradually ruin me. Piece by piece.