Bridging The Gap

Chapter Four

This boy was doing wonders to me. Honestly I started getting excited about school and our meets. Our meets were the best part. I went to meet him the next day. True to his word he asked about my opinions on God. This topic was something that I rarely openly discussed with my family because they all are completely against my atheist mentality.

But, with Calvin I was free by all means. He listened every word with rapt attention. Was I falling for him? No Ann. Don't!

I told him," Listen, I'm sorry if it hurts you in anyway but, I'm an atheist. I strongly believe that this God system is basically an around the clock support system. See, you fall in trouble or you wish for something and you have no one to ask help for or share anything. So, you tell this supernatural being about all your issues. Now you believe He listens and tries to help you out. But, scientifically all you are doing is talking to yourself about your problem. At the end of the day, your problems stay buried inside you but you find your much needed solace by thinking everything will be well and good. After all, there's God."

I was breathless and he gaped at me. He frowned and said after what seemed about an eternity," Thats the reason I find your company so interesting. You are so very different and you hardly seem to know how amazing you are!" I could feel my pulse rising. I quickly ran off this topic. "So what's your views on God?" "Me? I don't know. It's all a mess. I mean my thoughts. I can't segregate them into something worthwhile",he shrugged.

The evening was needless to say well spent. I walked back home to find my mom reading. "Hi mom." I said. "Hi Ann." I asked her where gran was. She was in her room apparently. I decided to go to her.

I went up to her room to find her lying on her bed. She must be sleeping. She stays really tired these days due to her chemo treatments. I tiptoed to her and took her hand in mine. Seriously, I can't imagine a world without her. How old and tired she looked. It was almost pitiful to look at her. Maybe it would be better for her to die. All these years she has just kept hold of the tight ropes of life. It must hurt her. If she let's go, she'll perhaps be fine.

I kept thinking about all the times we spent together. Days when we laughed...Days when I cried clutching her to me...Days when I talked on end to her and she listened. My Dad once told me that everyone gets someone who stays unconditionally with them. Sometimes in the form of a friend or a lover or as a family member. But you always do get one. I got grandma. And Calvin.

As I let go of her hand, I saw it fall limply by her side. Was it my over thinking or was there any difficulties in her? I stopped and watched and remembered what I had seen happen a number of times. What specialists called regrowth of cancer cells.

That meant gran wasn't sleeping.

That meant she was sick.

Matters were grave.

The sound much like wailing came long after from my shocked and dismayed self.
No.
No.
No.
That can't be.