The Village Idiot

The Bitch of Oz.

Complaint #7-The Bitch Of Oz

You like that chapter name?

Yeah, so do I. I came up with it by myself, cool, huh? I know, I know-'Woah! Charm actually managed to have an independent thought!' Well, for your information, I've had quite a few independent thoughts, so eat that. Jerk.

Contrary to some belief, this rant is not about the Wizard of Oz, Dorothy, or anything like that. The name was simply for amazing purposes. Yup.

It actually has to do with the second word-You know, rhymes with 'witch,' just replace the 'w' with a 'b.' 

That's right, bitches.

There's at least three billion of this particular species, the bitch, in the world, if not more. You'll not be able to go anywhere, unfortunately, in this world, without running into one or two or one hundred. That's just how the world runs-The only large gatherings of evil girls are where you plan to be for the day or even night.

While this rant could be exceptionally long and detailed, like the chapter a few back, I'm going to cut myself short at one point, simply for the sake of leaving you with at least a sliver of your innocence. Even if you've already lost it completely, at least pretend you haven't, or I will go and touch your face. Capeesh? Capeesh.

Rant #7-Bitches and why they're a pain in my derriere.

~'~'~

I hate girls.

Being a girl myself, that probably makes me a hypocrite, but I don't give a crap.

Only a few girls I know and associate with aren't complete bitches, every other one is a pig-faced bleached-blonde idiot who watches Dora to study for their Spanish exams. I'm not kidding, either. Exaggerating a bit, possibly, but kidding? No.

You know what? I should probably rephrase that. I don't hate girls, necessarily, I just hate being one.

No, before you even think about it, I'm not lesbian. I don't wish I was a guy just so I can date girls without getting weird looks, because I don't.

What I hate are the facts that, a} you have to be pretty AT ALL TIMES or you're just 'a waste of space,' b} that where you shop for clothes matters, c} that you have to be categorized into a certain clique, and d} that more often then not, socializing with others of your gender often involve stare downs, cat fights, and other violent activities, and it always stems from the general plague of the world-Bitches.

They spawn from the suspicious black mold in the corners of the girl's locker room showers, brought to this world only to remind us that we can never 'be perfect' unless we're a bitch, to-Or rich and fabulous, either works.

Being an outgoing, loud and tomboy-ish girl, even now, I've stood up to the bitches of this globe more then once, but every time, it seems to do nothing. My theory-At least a major majority of them aren't smart of enough to even be offended by anything you say, and therefore absorb your returned insults with no problem, before shooting them right back at you-And that's why they never seem to be fazed by the world hating them.

Not to be selfish or vain, but despite it being just a theory, I think it's a pretty good, straight-on one. Am I the only one? Probably.

Sigh.

So, I composed a poem about this subject in particular-Wanna hear it?

SAY YES.

Once upon there was a girl

Who acted quite nasty and mean.

Then I stabbed her spleen.

Now she's dead.

Yaaaaaaaay! {Yeah...You might not want to show that to anyone who either still has a brain or is below the ages of what-the-heck-is-this-sh...I mean, stuff. Yup. That's what I meant, all along. 'Cause why would little kids be swearing? Beats me.}

Once upon a time, I had a really good friend. Just because this is the internet, and I myself call myself something else, we'll call her...Lady. This was awhile ago, just so you know.

We might as well have been attached at the hip-That's how much we were together. As stupid and cliche as this sounds-I know, hilarious, considering I'm not fond of some cliches-We were absolutely sure we'd be BFFs forever and ever and ever. Yeah, no.

Lady and Charm, Charm and Lady, best friends forever...Or at least, until sixth grade. I don't know what the heck happened, but all of a sudden she felt the need to be the biggest bitch in the history of the universe. Of course, at first she was still nice to me, but when she realized I wasn't going to change over to the dark side like herself, she ditched me like the true princess she was.

Ha, and to think we were only eleven.

Anyway, nowadays, when passing one another in the hallways, we don't even make eye contact, but that's not the point is-Don't just assume right off the bat that everyone's going to stay the way they are, right now. Some will, but others-Plop. Right down the toilet of lipstick, stilettos and despair.

On that completely hygiene-aware analogy, or whatever you call it, {pfft, I'm not in high school...} it's time for me to cap it off before I completely vomit my entire vocabulary on your butts.

Unless you want me to.

Which I highly doubt, but you never know...One or two of you could be weird like me. But whatever. My apologies, weirdos of the world, but you get no more chapter. RAWR.

{That was my attempt at caveman speak, by the way.}

Until the banana peels,

Charm