The Art of Balancing » work in progress

CH. 14: "You're going to be my project."

If you had told me that there would be a time in my life that I'd actually long to go back to school, sit with people I used to find intolerable at lunch, and work on a project I was no longer apart of (thanks Mr. Swinley), I would have laughed at you. Yet here I was, spending what felt like every waking moment missing it.

Reid, who I was still barely speaking to, promised me that when the doctor said I was ready, he'd let me go back. However, when my therapist decided to tell Reid that the "stress from academic work and social situations" may lean me into a relapse, of course I was trapped for at least another week.

(Kill me.)

I had started wandering around downtown Pearwyn in the afternoons when walking on my own was less of a challenge. It was easier to do my schoolwork at night, than to sit in misery and think about everybody at Radley during the day I guess.

I'd grab tea at a café and read a book outside, then traipse in and out of the shops until I got bored. This had become so common that I was now best friends with the waitress/aspring actress at The Bean. Rochelle was nice. Maybe a little too open, but some company was better than no company at times, even if I did have to pay her. Whatever.

Today, though, Rochelle wasn't working. She must have had an audition or something; I remember her mentioning something like that on Monday. Now I was stuck with some guy named Alan who was not one for small talk. Every time I made a comment about the weather and how particularly gray and cold it was today, he'd just laugh a little. The dude wouldn't even give me a simple "oh, I know!". Rude.

Alan had actually just finished giving me a polite "you make me uncomfortable" smile, leaving me to stare at my chai latté and watch the steam rise off. Absentmindedly, I trace my finger around the rim of the mug as a breeze passes by. I stretch out my knee for just a second before feeling tight and I relax.

I finished the book I had brought with me, some weird sci-fi novel about the zombie apocalypse that was laying in Reid's office, so I was bored. It was roughy half past 3 and that meant part of me was hoping I'd see Marina or someone strolling on by. I still needed to talk to her about 2 Scoopz.

I decided I would take the job - whether Reid wanted me to or not. I even mentioned it to Sasha and see said it would be a "great opportunity". I saw it as a way to relieve some boredom and talk to people other than my 8 year old step brother. It was a done deal in my mind.

I take a sip from my drink as if that will close the offer I've just played with in my head, and that's about when I see it: Graham Bryant walking toward The Bean, hood over his head and hands in his pockets. My stomach flutters.

Yeah, I've seen him on occasion, but it's hard hanging out with both him and Landon during the week. When they're not at school, they're at soccer, and when they're not at soccer, they're at the gym. State was coming up and since Radley was still in the running, it felt like they had no time to themselves.

I guess I just wanted someone to sit at home with me all the time the way I was forced to. Maybe the time would pass by faster. I was tired of it and undoubtedly lonely, if you didn't get that by now.

"Dempsey."

Obviously this is Graham. He's standing next to my table and looking down at me, eyes squinted.

Things between us have been exceptionally comfortable since the board game night. In fact, we've been acting like such... friends... that I'm almost waiting for another thing to go wrong or for me to bitch him out and fall back to square one. Maybe it's only a matter of time, but maybe it's not. I'd like to think that things are permanently changed.