His Secret

Facing Up To His Robes

That night Harry couldn't sleep; he lay awake in bed dreading the next day. Tomorrow everyone would know, tomorrow will show what a freak he really was, tomorrow his only secret will be out. Deciding that he would never sleep, Harry slipped quietly out of bed and walked over to the window. He loved looking at the Hogwarts ground; it made him forget his worries and feel free. Harry perched himself on the window sill savouring the view. Vaguely he wondered what everybody else's robes would say, what would somebody perfect like Ginny feel vulnerable about. She was beautiful, she was kind, she was funny and she cared even about a Freak like me Harry added to himself.

He didn't know when he drifted off but he must have at some point because he was woken with somebody calling his name. It was Ron. Looking towards his bed his heart stopped. There lying innocently on his scarlet covers was his midnight black robes with the word ABUSED burnt in a fiery red on the back. Harry glanced at Ron, who was conveniently standing with his back against the wall so Harry couldn't see what his read.

"Come on mate, it's not that bad. If you put them on now we'll leave before Seamus, Dean and Neville even wake up." Ron reasoned but then Neville groaned, Harry leaped onto his bed covering his robes.

"Whoa. You're a bit lively." he looked to the end of his bed, his robes read DISAPPOINTMENT his face flushed and he quickly grabbed his robes and scrunched them up under his pillow. "So, big day today, should be interesting." he grinned his voice a little higher than usual.

"Yeah." Ron agreed his back still up against the wall, Harry however remained flat on the bed terrified to move in case Neville saw.

"You okay Harry?" Neville asked concerned, Harry gave an incomprehensible muffled reply.

Soon Neville, Seamus and Dean had dressed and left all thoroughly depressed about the day ahead. Harry was still collapsed on the bed, refusing to move.

"Harry, please, you'll have to move sometime today." Ron pleaded.

"No I wont." Harry grumbled stubbornly.

"But what about lessons?"

"What about them?"

"They, well, Hermione," Ron said weakly.

"I don't want to. I don't see you showing off your fun little message." Harry growled.

"Fine, mine says least loved. Now please can we go?" Ron looked into the almond shaped, emerald eyes and saw fear, but also he looked curious.

"Why?" he asked.

"I don't know. Probably because I've always felt like that, I don't know." Ron ran a hand through his vivid red hair and shrugged. Harry nodded; he thought he could understand Ron's insecurity.

"I'm still not moving." he mumbled.

"If that's what you want, I'll be back in a minute." Harry sighed as Ron left the room. Would he ever be able to face up to his robes?

"Harry." as Ginny's brisk voice cut through his thoughts, Harry moaned. "Get up, get dressed and I'll meet you in the common room in five minutes." she ordered and Harry sighed, Why did he always do what Ginny says?

"No." he tried half heartedly.

"Harry." she said warningly.

"Okay, okay." Harry got up hastily and went into the bathroom.

HPHPHPHPHP

Harry walked into the Great Hall sandwiched between Ginny and Ron so he couldn't flee as soon as he entered. All eyes flickered towards him, all wondering the same question: What would the Boy-Who-Lived feel insecure about? Harry ducked his head, trying to ignore the stares and whispers. As soon as he turned towards the Gryffindor table he heard gasps from behind more whispers followed, like a constant swarm of bees.

"Ignore them." Hermione was repeating her chant over and over again, all the other years he had listened but this year it was much more difficult. Harry picked at his breakfast, whispers had turned to mutters until.

"Oh Merlin! Look at Potter's robes!" Malfoys drawl carried loudly through the whispers. "What a sorry excuse of a hero he is. Why don't you run to your Mummy and Daddy? Huh? Oh yes, they're dead." he spat. Harry threw himself at Draco but Ron grabbed him. Harry flinched away, suddenly terrified. He could hear the distant shouts of his Aunt and Uncle, the bullying voice of his cousin. Petrified, Harry ran out of the Great Hall.

Finding the nearest bathroom Harry locked himself in a cubical. How stupid could he be letting Ginny convince him to wear the stupid robes? Why did it have to be him? Because you are worthless, you are a Freak! The voice in the back of his head reminded him. You deserve to be punished!

Harry sank to the ground, head in his hand, emotions engulfing him. He felt so much pain, so much sorrow, so much despair. Why did Sirius have to find out? Why couldn't he just leave him be? It is not his fault, it is yours, all your fault, everything is your fault. Harry banged his fist against the side of the cubicle, wishing the voice would stop, wishing everything would just go away.

"Harry?" Fred's tentative voice was calling him softly from the other side of the door. The other side of the door. The Door. The wall that separated him from the rest of the world, the wall that kept him isolated. Like he should be. The voice added slyly.

"Harry, come on, talk to us." George added to Fred's pleading now, together they begged him to come out. Harry felt more despair wash over him. Then he saw no more.