Galaxies

Hate

Blade.

I hate her. I can't do this without her. I hate her. I hate her. I need her. I hate her. I'm hopelessly in love with her. I fucking hate her.

She can't just leave me here. It's not fair. It's not okay. I hate her. She's beautiful. I hate her. She's perfect. I hate her. I want her. God do I hate her.

I stare down at her beautiful face, relaxed and peacefully sleeping on my chest. I can't lose this. I can't. She's the only good thing in this world. I need her to be mine.

My blood begins to boil. The fire raging inside me pounds against my rib cage. I hate her. I need her. I hate her.

The darkness begins to consume me. The matrix of my mind begins to turn like cogs in an engine until I cannot feel anything but my longing for this beautiful girl next to me. I hate her. I need her. I hate her.

I want to slice my wrists open and break the dams holding back bloody rivers. I want to dive into the cold crystalline water of the river and never come back up. My world is leaving. I hate her. I need her. I love her.

I already miss the way she says my name and the way she looks at me and the way she walks and talks and reads and breathes and moves and lives. I hate her. I need her. I love her.

I look down at her soft features and realize she is my only hope. This innocent creature is my purpose and I will follow her until the end of time. I'll stay with her. I hate her. I need her. I love her.

She mumbles unspoken promises in her sleep that I'll never understand but always adore. Her nose scrunches for a moment, and I kiss her forehead to let her know I'm here. She relaxes into me again. I hate her. I need her. I love her.

The fire swells again as I think more. I can't stand my life I can't stand my mind I can't stand the conformity to society forced upon every god damned creature in this world. It's taking my love and my purpose and I'm tired of it. I need to escape. I need to leave. I'll stay. I'll stay because I love her. I need her. I love her.

She doesn't understand. She will never understand. This fire inside that consumes my mind can't be suppressed by anything the loneliness makes it worse oh god spare me. He did spare me. He gave me her He is taking her again I need her don't you understand I need her she's the only thing that makes this fire die down enough that I don't go to Hell right this second. I love her. I need her. I love her.

Don't let her leave don't let her go don't let this fire confirm my ultimate desire to die. I swore to never leave her and to Hell with me if I break that promise but I didn't expect her to leave me. This wasn't supposed to happen. I love her. I hate her. I love her.

I need her to be my girl. She has to be before this fire takes me away. She will always be home she will always be mine in my heart but I need her to be next to me like this for the rest of eternity. I love her. I need her. I love her.

She will be mine. I will fix this. She is so beautiful and I won't be able to live without her. She is perfection and I'm not but Hell if I'm not going to protect this innocent creature from the world. I will be hers and she will be mine. I love her. I love her. I love her.