Heir and Pride

Chapter Twenty

Sleeping in the arena had proved harder than Hiccup had thought. He had hoped that he could have coped because he was really, truly exhausted after the awful events of the last few days but seeing Snotlout there, pretending to be his friend, acting as if he hadn't beaten and abused Hiccup for so many years had Hiccup curling away as far as he could get from the boy and trembling in fear. Every time the boy had spoken, Hiccup had felt his breath hitch and had wanted to withdraw further. He had walked around the arena, tried to calm himself but he found he couldn't allow himself to sleep and couldn't make himself so vulnerable to his chief tormentor. Every time he heard that voice, trying to joke with him and pretend they had been friends had him feeling sick-and the images of Snotlout in that hut, threatening to hurt him so personally kept treacherously returning to his memory.

Strangely, the twins didn't provoke the same response and he couldn't understand why. Sure, they had helped Snotlout most times or watched his torment with enjoyment but it had been unusual for them to strike him. He knew in his mind that he should associate them with the litany of abuse he had suffered but somehow, they had never seemed so malevolent in his mind. They were idiots and violent but it was down to Snotlout. It was always down to Snotlout.

He had looked over to Astrid, curled up in a warm fur from her home and sleeping with her axe hugged in her grip and he frowned. He should hate her as well, because she was probably even worse. He had trusted her, believed in her and she had almost killed him through jealousy. He had loved her from afar forever, drawing on their childhood friendship and clutching at the image of the ideal Viking girl with increasing desperation. She had been his Valkyrie, his dream...and when she had saved him, he had thought maybe he could be her friend.

But then she had led that nightmare beating and he had felt everything shatter. Sure, she hadn't attacked him after the Elder's warning but she had ignored him which had been as bad. And why had he gone after her? He had been hurt and heartbroken and afraid...but the tiny corner of him that had longed after her forever had overruled his survival instincts and directed Toothless to catch her. Maybe he no longer felt afraid because, on Toothless, he was no longer weak and vulnerable: he was strong and powerful and in control. He had wanted to tell her how he felt...before he left. He had wanted to show her that he wasn't a cheat or a loser. He wanted to show her that she was wrong. He had wanted...an apology.

And she had given it to him, when he terrified her about a hundredth as much as she had terrified him. She had claimed she wanted to be his friend, to support him. And, to be honest, she had. He still didn't understand how she could be so cruel, so cold one day and then...change. And then it struck him: Toothless. It was all about Toothless. Without the Night Fury, he was nothing. He was just Useless Hiccup, worst Viking in Berk.

He had crawled to the furthest corner-the back entrance where he had stood, just before going in and screwing up his Final Exam. Wrapped in his blanket, he huddled tight until finally, his eyes closed. Unwillingly, his mind began to drift and he suddenly found himself in the Arena once more...

...facing the Monstrous Nightmare. But this time he wasn't alone. The others were there, standing behind him, watching him. He looked nervously behind him: he never trusted having Snotlout behind him-and his anxiety was vindicated when the boy slammed him forward with his shield, tossing the helpless Hiccup onto his knees. He fell at the feet of the Nightmare, which roared and slashed at him, its claws striping his back. He howled in pain and scrambled back- to face Astrid.

"Help me!" he begged her-and she punched him in the face, tossing onto his back. He rolled, heartbroken and terrified. He scrabbled to his feet-to face Snotlout. He backed off a step, his breath hitching and heart racing. "Snotlout-no, please..." he pleaded as the older boy grabbed him, twisted his arm behind his back and punched him hard. He slammed into he floor, writhing in pain at the foot of the flaming dragon. He rolled back, whimpering as he heard the twins laughing scornfully at his poor showing.