Fade To Black (#wattys2016)

Chapter seven

When I walked through my front door, I seen my dad pacing around the living room while Courtney was no where to be seen. I knew she never cared.
When I closed the door it made a thud and my dad heard and his head shot up.
"Cara." He said running up to me. He gave me a bone crushing hug. "Cara I'm so sorry. I should have asked you. I didn't know you were still really upset about your mother. Please don't hate me. I love you, Cara."
"I love you too, dad." I said pulling back from the hug and sat on the couch with my dad right next to me.
"Cara..." My dad said looking straight into my eyes.
"Right now you may not feel the best you have ever felt. You might feel that things are never going to get better. Like things are never going to be on your side. But I love Courtney and we are going to get married, I'm sorry Cara...."
I knew I was being selfish with the marriage thing but I really don't like Courtney, but if that's who makes him happy I'll be okay with it.
"I know it's hard to accept, but you can't change the past.....You can't go back and change things they way you wanted the to happen. Because life would just be meaningless and boring. It just wouldn't be worth living. In life you experience pain of loss, pain of heartbreak, pain of losing people and things. And in life you experience happiness and joy and excitement.
"The moral of the story is you can't just be sad all the time, that makes life meaning less and hurtful.
"You may not be able to change the past but you can change the future. That's the beautiful thing about life, Cara. Yes, you will make mistakes. And yes, you will have bad days like this again- but as long as you let the past go, you'll have such a gorgeous and bright future ahead of you.
"Knowing that things were meant to happen. Knowing that each day you will learn something so that you keep growing to be a better person.
"Life is like a rope, Cara. Twined in all its complexities and yet weaved into one marvelous stream that you have the chance you will use something amazing from it. So grab ahold of it."
As my dad finished talking to me, I didn't notice that I was crying. He reached his hands out and wiped my tears away.
Now it was my turn to pull him into a bone crushing hug.
"Thank you, Dad. I really needed that. Sorry for crying. I'm such a pansy." I said my voice cracking near the end.
"No problem baby. Don't think that. It's okay to cry. It's okay to slid down a wall in tears at three in the morning aching and screaming. If you want to sit in your bedroom floor with your head buried in your knees, tears spilling from your eyes and filling the room to your waist. It doesn't make you weak. You could never be weak, Cara. You're alive and that's the hardest thing to be. I'm so proud of you."
I let the words of my dad sink in. Damn, I never knew he was that motivational.
"You should be a therapist, dude."
"Cara you are dumb. That's my job. I'm. A. Therapist."
My dad said slowly. Making sure I got every word correctly.
God I'm so stupid. I knew he was a therapist. He had deplomas everywhere.
What kind a daughter am I? Haha don't answer that.
"The point is Cara, you have survived your worst. You climbed mountains nobody else had climbed. You have been thrown into rivers to deep; onto rocks too sharp. You have entered battelfields with in your mind, and defeated soldiers armed with swords that fight your every try. You have trudged through quick sand, all alone, with legs of lead, and only a Tiny thread of hope. You have had your soul torn, heart worn, and spirit drawn. You have been abused, battered, and bruised. You have bullet wounds and scars (not physically) and have suffered pain too deep and too dark for any word in the dictionary too explain....."
I stare at my dad not knowing what to say. All he is saying is true. I should have talked to him earlier, maybe I wouldn't be in all this pain if I would have.
"Yet you always rose, so bravely, despite the never ending nights of tears and disdain. You have survive the worst.
"And you can survive this too."
I didn't say anything all I did was look at him and didn't say a word. I couldn't say anything. It was like I was in shock. I was to shocked to form words.
"Cara it's getting late it's 11 and it's a school night. Go get a shower and sleep you need it."
I got up off the couch and began making my way to the staircase up to my room. As I was halfway up my dad called to my once again.
"Just in case I'm not up before you are tomarrow I want to tell you something. Most likely you will not feel very...how can I put this.....Most likely you will feel like shit tomorrow....."
I chuckled by the choice of words.
"So I will say, I know you are upset so I won't tell you to have a good day; instead I will advise you to simply have a day. Stay alive. Feed yourself at school. Put some comfy clothes on. Wear sweatpants and a sweatshirt for all I care. And most importantly don't give up on yourself. When you get to school, put in your best effort and just get through the day. And when you get home I want to hear you play on your drums, you're an amazing drummer, and I'm not just saying that because I'm your dad; I'm saying it because it's true. Your mother would be so proud by how far you have come." My dad said; smiling one of his huge smiles. The one were you can see the rows of his perfectly straight white teeth.
I can see why to mother fell for my father and Married him so quickly.
Under the gray hair and wrinkles-his smile- you could still see the young man my father used to be. His smile just about could brighten any ones day.
I smiled back then went up the stairs straight to my room. I'll just take a shower in the morning.
I lay on my bed thinking about the things that had happened today.
I smile to myself knowing that I can and will get through any thing life puts in my way.

A/N Sorry this took so long. But its finally here. Hooray. Have a good day my rockers.