Fade To Black (#wattys2016)

Chapter Eight

That night I had a hard time sleeping. I have been having hard times sleeping but last night was the worse. I stayed up wondering what is wrong with me and why I'm such a mess, and why I'm lying awake wondering in my own thoughts.

Alice and Madison didn't come to pick me up. My father was asleep and I didn't want to wake him, I know for a fact that Courtney wouldn't take me to school. So I had to walk. I don't know why I had to walk I thought they said they would pick me up today.
When I walked to the doors of the school they wouldn't open. Shit, I'm late. I turn around to push the door bell, the doorbell I have pushed many times before. I hear the door unlock and I open the door to walk into the office so I can get a late note for my teacher.
"Ah hello Mrs.Cara and why are we late today?" I heard the office clerk say as I walked through the door. Told you I have been here many times. "Mrs. Jones nice to see you again. I'm late because I had to walk here. I thought my friends were gonna pick me up but they didn't show." I explain to the clerk trying to keep my voice from rising in anger. God she gets on my nerves sometimes.
"Okay here is your note. Don't let this become a routine. Have a nice day."
"You too." I say grabbing the note and start to walk to my first class. Social Studies.
I walk in to my class and I give the note to the teacher not caring to stay and chat with him, I don't think he needed an explanation my face said it all. I look like shit. He just handed me the paper the class was working on and told me to go have a seat.
I walk straight to my seat waving hi to Lars when he called my name. As I sat down next to Madison and Alice they ignored me when I said hey. They were to busy talking to the popular people. Yes it's only the second day of school and people already have labels.
Madison and Alice might have ignored me but someone from there group didn't. Ashley, blond hair and blue eyes. Very pretty. She's the reason I hate school. She's the one who puts me down.
"Hey Cara. Still like heavy metal I see." She said pointing to my 'Iron Maiden' shirt. "You know you would look a lot better if you actually tried. Like lose some weight, straighten your hair, put some descent looking clothes on. Gosh I never noticed how ugly you are. Look at all those pimples."
When she finished talking the people in her little popular group started to laugh. Even though what she said stung a little, it wasn't even close to the pain I felt when I saw Madison laughing along with her. What a bitch.
"Really is that how you think of me?" I say looking at Madison.
"Sorry Cara it is kinda true, you do have a little pudge, and some of the bands you listen to kinda suck so I don't know why you wear there shirts. Oh and yes you do have a lot of pimples, but they will go away sooner or later." Madison explained.
I felt tears spring to my eyes. Wow I can't believe my own friend said that.
"Well I'm sorry you feel that way. I guess I'll just go." I say voice cracking near the end. I stand up and start to walk to the classroom door.
Once I get to the door and I turn around and look to Madison and Alice; ignoring all the stares especially Lars, I can't think when I look at him.
"You know what. You never cared about me, Madison. I gave you my heart, my soul, and all of my time, and this is how you repay me. When you were bawling your eyes out at 3 am complicating suicide, I stayed up until sunrise with you to make sure you would be okay. But I guess that didn't matter to you did it? I see you were only my friend because you needed someone to talk too. Fuck you Madison."
And with that I turn around and walk back towards the door. Once again ignoring the longing stares from the class and the teacher.
"Cara, where do you think you're going?" The teacher called to me. I lift my head up so I can see the teacher.

"I'm leaving."

"You may skip this period but please stay on campus."

I sit on a lunch bench out side waiting for the period to be over. When I was sitting there just looking into space I begin to feel sad, like all my emotions come in waves; drowning me in their path.
I realized siting there that once people are broken in certain ways, they can't ever be fixed. This is something they never tell you as a kid growing up.
Everybody has gone through something that has changed them in a way that they could never go back to the person they once were.
"Hey, Cara."
Fuck. It's Lars.
I turn to look at Lars running over to me. "Hey I heard what those people said back there. You okay?"
"Yes."
"You sure?"
"No."
Lars sits next to me on the bench. We both just look into the sky looking at the sun slowly rising. We sat in silence for a moment before Lars started to speak.
"Okay Cara I know I just met you but tell me who did this to you? Who caused you so much pain?"
I just sit there collecting my words.
"My mom passed away and ever since them I had never really felt happy. But then I met Madison and Alice and they made me feel whole again. But I guess they don't care about me anymore, because I have known them for years and a guy I just met yesterday came looking for me. You care about me more than my own friends do." I say looking into Lars beautiful eyes.
"And Ashley the girl back there, she has been picking on me since I first got to this school as a freshmen. At first the words didn't hurt but once you been called something for so long you start to believe it."
"Come here." He said putting his arms out for a hug.
I scoot closer to him. Fucking scared out of my mind. I felt like all the butterflies in the world have migrated into my stomach.
We sit there together in each other's arms waiting out the class period.