Chapter Forty-two. You Make My Heart Stop.

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Today is a "Lady Gaga for the soul" kind of day, I guess!

This one is today's chapter! There is an important hint in this one, hopefully you'll get it, my girl traumen_darauf will (she always does!).

ENJOY IT! ;)

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Lunch with Matt wasn't something that I was looking forward to, so as I stood in front of him with my beige coat on and my little daughter in my arms I looked away to the SUV waiting for me, Jessica was standing next to me, waiting for me to say something.

"Come on, you owe me that lunch since the last time we met in New York!" Matt smiled at me and I blinked many times, looking away.

"Mami, hunger!" Lena said to me and I pulled my bag up in my shoulder before holding her with both hands again.

"I know, baby, I know..." I tried to find an excuse, but maybe it was too much, avoiding Matt wasn't going to make things any easier. "Okay."

I turned to Jessica and apologized.

"I am having lunch with Matt, sorry." She nodded and disregarded my apology with a smug smile and a flip of her wrist.

"Do you want me to take Lena?" She offered, reaching out to hold her.

Lena perked up at the mention of her name and when she saw Jessica reaching out she put her short arms around my neck, crying out.

"Mami!" I put my hand on her back, holding her close.

"Everything is fine, sweetie." I said softly to hear ear before turning to Jessica, "I'll take her, thanks."

While Jessica took off in the SUV, Matt pointed at a black Mercedes near the end of the street. I walked with him in silence, his hair looked dark, with a few more grey hairs now and more lines around his eyes.

"She is talking now!" He pointed at Lena, who was clinging at my neck.

I nodded with a suppressed smile while we kept walking.

"Yeah... Günther's writing now, so... we have our hands full." I joked.

"I imagine, Dylan hasn't had his first kid yet and he's already going nuts with prepping the house!" He chuckled.

Matt hid his hands on his pockets and looked down, breathing into his scarf before looking up at me with a boyish expression of joy. I smiled back and looked away thinking of Tom and his warm brown eyes that looked nothing like Matt's.

"I have to make sure to send him a nice gift, he's always been very nice to us." I pointed at Lena's wrist and Matt leaned down to look at the bracelet.

"He thinks of you as a sister." He said serious, "the sister he almost had, anyway."

Our eyes met and I found regret in his expression, though I was holding in my arms one of the most important reasons I would never regret leaving Matt. He turned around and pulled the door of the car open, helping me get inside.

Matt had taken me to a small café in a narrow street, we walked through a couple of stores to get there and I fell in love with the terrace; tables everywhere around us and people chatting next to us, waiters and waitresses going around, cyclists passing by, women sharing the latest gossips over a cup of coffee, young boys laughing carelessly at some stupid joke, young lovers staring into each other's eyes from over their cups. I admitted, it had its charm.

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