What If Patrick... (Patrick Stump Imagines)

A Lesson

"If I ask you to leave, will you stay?" Patrick asked through his drunken state. His eyes are pleading for you stay but his mouth is telling you to leave.

You want to leave him. You want him to realize how much he needs you. You want him to wake up tomorrow with no one by his side. You want him to realize that you stayed even if he left you for some dramatic reason you don't want to remember because it fucking pisses you off to death.

"Why, Patrick? Are you lonely?" You asked him.

"Y-yes, very much. It hurts." He spoke. "I need you."

You stood up and slipped your feet on your high-heels and grabbed your purse from the nightstand. He left you because he was scared. Now, you're going to leave him because you're hurt enough to put up with him. Besides, you're not not in your house or the house you used to live together back in California. You want him to drown in his own pain until he chokes in it. He had you once. Now he's going to lose you every time you're just at the tip of his fingers.

"No, wait, please." He tried to get up but you pushed him back to the bed. You pulled out your perfume from your pouch and sprayed it all over him and all over his room. That wasn't just some random expensive perfume. That was the perfume you've been using before he appeared in your life. That's the perfume that signals your presence. The perfume that intoxicates him with so much pain and regret every time he smells it.

"A stab in the chest kills. So does memories and a perfume." You spoke to him for the last time and finally walked away from him and out of his room.

It was painful to hurt him intentionally, so he'd come back to his senses, but you had to. You still love Patrick and sometimes you have to shock the person you love so that he/she will be finally grounded to the reality.

You let out a sigh as you walked back to your car. You could hear his broken sobs in the deafening silence of the neighbourhood he lives in. You want to run back to his house and wrap him in a hug but you decided against it.

You opened the car door and settle yourself in the driver's seat. As you drove away, you hoped that tomorrow, even if the alcohol doesn't make him remember anything from tonight, your scent will linger in his room just like the memories you had together. The only difference is memories don't just dissipate in the air. It stays, fucks you up, and even fixes you.

If he returns, you know you'll make him stay but not own you. Because just in case he leaves again, he won't be able to tear away another large part of you and take it with him. You've never done that to him. You just woke up one morning without him and you already knew that he's not coming back. No amount of letters from him saying how sorry he is and explaining why he left you can stop you from hurting. All you ever had from him is the coat that you're wearing at the moment. You owned him before. You thought he was there in your heart, secured, safe, and sound. Until he broke out and left your heart to bleed.

The pain seems to be a never ending cycle. This memory seems to be sempiternal, and it's all because of him...