Jamie's p.o.v
I smile over at Jacob
He's been here for me and we have been friends for awhile
We arrive to homecoming and the night was the best
Untill I poped the question
I walked over to Jacob and his friends
I look down at my feet before poking his shoulder
He spins around quickly "hey Jamie, what's up"
I take a deep breathe "will you be my boyfriend?"
He smiles
Then a crowd full of laughter and his smile fads
"Ew no I'm straight, fag"
"Jacob what are you doing? I thought..."
He interrupts "you thought what? Get out of here gay"
I feel the tears falling down my face
I hear some others screaming "go kill yourself" "die" "gay" "homo"
I take a deep breathe "fine you won"
I turn and begin to run home
I'm ending this
---------
I kick open the door and my dad looks over and I completely ignore him as I run to my room
I slam and lock the door
I slide the box out from under my bed which held
Razors, knifes, and a notebook
I always wrote songs, poetry, and just my feelings
But today I knew what I was gonna write and it wasn't any of that stuff
But first I grab a razor and throw my jacket to the side of the room and pull up my sleeves
I look at all my scars
I'm disgusting....
I don't deserve to be here
All the years being bullied and I actually thought it would be different here
I was wrong
I play with the blade in my fingertips and get small slices in the tips of my fingers
I grip it firmly before slidding it down my arm
I feel the warm thick blood slide down my arm
Two...
Three...
Four...
I wipe the tears from my face as I search for a pen
I flip to a page in my notebook and I begin to write and write
I fill a good page before flipping to the back and adding one more message
I kiss the page
Before grabbing the long knife and pulling myself off the ground
I race down my stairs and the front door opens and I hear Marie
"JAMIE PLEASE WHERE ARE YOU PLEASE DONT"
I make the decision to go outside
I run out and stand on the diving board
I hold the knife firmly to my heart
I take a deep breathe but before I could push I hear the back door
