Ship: Vikklan/Leston
1167 words.
Genre:Angst
Warning: sexual encounters, mentions of sexual encounters, strong language, mentions of anxiety, cheating
~~~
I knew there was something wrong. At this point, I knew you didn't love me. The first sign was when you distanced yourself from me. You would sleep on the other side of the bed, staying as far away as possible. Before, there was no "sides" to our bed, it was just ours. Near the end, I never saw "our" bed. I saw your side, and my side, which would soon become yours anyways.
Every time I tried to cuddle into you, or lay my arm across you, if we're being specific, you would flinch underneath my touch. Your muscles would tense up and it physically hurt me to touch you. So, I just stopped cuddling into your side and, eventually, it took so many hours for me to fall asleep that I just, gave up.
Then there was that night. The first night I realized that our relationship wasn't okay. I stayed up till 3am, just thinking about where I fucked up. I sat there for hours, just thinking about where our relationship failed. When you woke up, you paid no attention to the bags under my eyes, and after my night of thinking, I didn't expect you to.
About two weeks later, we were still together. Why? I have no idea. It was clear you lost interest in me, our last kiss was a month ago and I couldn't count the days it has been since I felt your body above mine. That's right. You were the top. I was pacing around our room, again, thinking about where I fucked up. That's when I heard something strange, to say the least. Two more sounds followed this one. I was-extremely-confused. There were three sounds, but only two of them were your voice.
Slowly, but quickly, I went down the stairs in our house and heard another sound come from the guest room. No one was staying with us, so to say I was mildly confused would be an understatement. I made sure that when I walked, I made no sound. Silently I opened the door, and, in a way, I'm glad I did.
I opened the door to see you and your best friend having sex. And, to my surprise, you were the bottom. Which was something you never did for me. I shut the door, but before I did, I took a small video of it. The video was only fifteen seconds, just enough to remind me to never come back. You made it clear that you didn't love me, and I needed something to remember that. I walked back up the stairs in your house. I knew you guys would be at it for a while, since you never let it end until you couldn't go any longer.
That was the second sign. It hit me like a wave of reality, and the reality was that you didn't love me.
I walked into your room, where I was just minutes before. I sufficiently started putting all of my possessions into a suitcase. That's when I decided I would leave you the note. The note wasn't a suicide note, rather than a note to explain our relationship to you, from my perspective.
Dear you,
I know the truth now, but something bothers me. Why didn't you just tell me? Clearly you didn't love me, maybe you thought it would hurt me less. The truth is--it doesn't hurt at all. I'm numb, not heartbroken, or angry. I'm not out for revenge on you and your best friend. I just want you to know about our relationship. From my point of view.
I remember when we met. Well it was nothing special. We met through some mutual friends, but I'm talking more about the day you asked me out. I remember how I tapped my hands on the counter, about 4 hours after our relationship began. I remember how you yelled at me and told me to stop tapping my hands. That I wasn't "a fucking musician." I know that. It's involuntary. I'm sorry. Actually, I'm not because you're in love with your best friend and he doesn't tap his hands on every surface he comes in contact with.
I also know that I pace. You made it clear to me that you hate that. Your best friend doesn't pace, he doesn't have anxiety. So in a way, I don't understand why you dated me because he was everything you wanted me to be. Why you fell for me, I have no idea. Now don't get me wrong, you didn't try to change me, and, at one point, I think there were things you really loved about me.
I think you may have actually loved my taste in music and movies and books. You may have actually liked my cooking, and I know that I loved the way you slowly ran your hands on my sides, before letting them rest around my waist.
I think you used to love the way we would fall asleep, with our legs intertwined with one another's, with no space in between us, with the blankets laying on the floor because the other's body heat is enough, and with my small frame thrown into your larger one.
Anyways, those days are long gone. I'm not the one you love anymore. I found this out months after I should've. Do you remember that morning when you woke up and saw me, bags under my eyes, hair tangled, with my small frame shaking? Do you remember that you didn't so much as acknowledge me? That's right, you didn't so much as look at me for more than 5 fucking seconds.
I hope you know that earlier that night I realized that you didn't love me. I stayed up all night, thinking about how I fucked up. Me! How did I fuck up? Now I realize, it was you that fucked up. I am at no fault for the death of our relationship. You are.
Now as I write this letter to you, I doubt you know what I just saw. I saw you and your best friend fucking on our guest bed. Don't even try to deny it. In fact, maybe you should just stop lying to me altogether. So our relationship is clearly over, I caught you cheating. I'm done.
I hope you remember that night in mid-August in front of the river. Where I told you, just as you were about to leave, to always tell me 'see you later' instead of 'goodbye'. I hope you remember why. If not, I'll gladly tell you again. 'See you later' represents that there will be another time we see one another, while 'goodbye' can signal many different endings. 'Goodbye' can signal forever. So I told you to never tell me 'goodbye' because I didn't want to leave you forever. But, sadly, my opinion of you has drastically changed.
So my last words to you are as follows:
Goodbye, Lachlan Power.
~~~
[Let me know if you guys want a part 2! I will gladly write it. Also, I got the basis of this idea from a Phan one shot book. But I changed like half of the storyline, so...anyways this was a long one shot and I really liked it.]
OH AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU LIKE THE SET UP FOR THIS ONE(like the warning, genre, word count, and such.) If you guys like it enough, I'll go back and edit previous one shots to match this style. :3 Bye
