746 words
Genre: angst, bit of fluff
Warnings: angst, sad, love, unedited
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day one
i couldn't help but stare. our eyes locked and i felt his fingertips brush against mine, but may the lord sell our souls if our finger intertwine and our lips lock. it was just one of those things that sent shivers up my spine, turning my day from mundane to unnatural. i looked back at him though. his brown eyes bore into my blue ones and my cheeks flushed. i just know they did. he shyly smiled, and i turned around, letting panic! at the disco flow through ears and consume my world.
day eight
i shouldn't know his name. yet he drove me absolutely fucking insane. i can't tell you a thing about him as a person, but i can tell you his eyes are galaxies and i see all the stars in his eyes. nothing so right had ever felt so wrong. his lips are plump, pink. they just look addictive. he doesn't know what he's doing to me. it's like he loves to see the hurt in my eyes when our hand brush. or when our lips move together and i feel sparks that can't exist.
day eleven
my lips hurt. because all they can feel are sparks of love and pain, which i've come to realize are the exact same thing. my eyes sting with tears. because every time we lock eyes makes me realize that you aren't ready. my lungs burn. because they're deprived of oxygen you've stolen with every hidden kiss or every time my breath hitches as you brush past me in the halls.
day fourteen
your breathing was heavy, unsteady. you came to my house after school as usual, but this time there weren't laughs, smiles, or sneaky kisses pressed against my lips. instead you cried, yelled, and screamed to me. not at me, but to me. you were sick of hiding, and i could see that you were breaking. your pretty golden mirror was shattering and dimming. i held you close, whispering in your ear.
"pleasure isn't always worth the pain."
day fifteen
in front of your home we stood, hand in hand. our fingers were intertwined as you pushed open the door. you yelled about your arrival, and your mother soon came and embraced you. our hands fell as she engulfed your tiny frame. you pulled out of the hug and rejoined our hands. your mother's eyes traveled down my lanky arm after acknowledging who i was. you introduced me. i heard your breathing shallow.
"mom, this is my boyfriend. lachlan, this is my mother."
day seventeen
your mother. she's lovely. the rest of your family is too, but i've taken a liking to your mother. even though you're finally out, our love still hurts. every breath i take still makes my lungs burn. but the burning isn't a fiery passion in between us. it's knowing that we'll never last. my lips still hurt. but they don't hurt from sparks of electricity flying between us. it's the pain of knowing the sparks are dying out.
day eighteen
my star isn't burning out. but our love is. i'm so sorry little star. i can't let you go, yet it feels like a burden to keep you.
day nineteen
i will admit; i'm afraid of love. why? because we fall out of love for the same reasons we fall into it. they're spontaneous outbursts now seem reckless. their feet sat up on your dashboard isn't sexy anymore. it's just annoying. the way they constantly swipe their hand through their hair is just another habit of theirs. it's no longer cute and joyful. it horrifies me to know that someone will hate me for the same things they once loved about me. it makes me a little less hopeful for my love life.
day twenty
am i in love? god, i don't know. but if i don't have a reason to stay, i guess i should go.
day twenty-one
goodbye, little star. i'm sorry i hate all the things i once loved about you. i'm sorry that we both have to act like things are okay and that we're still close. i'm sorry i've broken you. but don't let me ruin your chances at love. i'm a broken boy in a world where love is hard. you're a pretty star in a world where you know yourself.
day twenty-two
maybe i really did love you. maybe now just wasn't the right time to love you.
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this was Lachlan's pov if you didn't figure that out.
anyways I don't know how this got so sad.
just kinda happened.
anyways, I apologize for putting you all through the sad Vikklan tears.
I feel very sadistic. I don't give you guys Vikklan for weeks and when I do it's tear inducing.
I'm sorry.
expect fluffy Vikklan soon.
also double update tonight :)
Bye
