Don't Panic!

Celebrations

Whenever a tourist arrives in India he is given a pamphlet that lists the many festivals of our nation. Most countries have just two or three such 'national festivals'. But here in India, you'll find at least one every month. Now of all the festivals celebrated in India, none are held in higher esteem or celebrated more pompously than the hartal. 

I'm not entirely sure if any other country has this time-honoured tradition but in India, every time a political party or religious community or basically any group of more than ten people feel like taking a holiday they announce a strike or 'hartal'. Unlike Christmas or Easter, this festival is celebrated by all people, irrespective of religious or class differences.

This is not to say that these celebrations don't cause any trouble. That is inevitable with any great joyous occasion. Take my term exams for example.

In 11th grade, the school year is divided into three terms. At the end of each term there is obviously an exam. Someone once said that the goal of education is to impart knowledge. Whoever said that had clearly never known a proper education. The ultimate aim of education is to pass examinations. This is not as easy as it might seem, especially if you have surprise festivals interrupting your exam schedule. 

On the day of my Theatre exam, a hartal was declared. Now this didn't particularly bother me because... well it was Theatre. I couldn't have studied even if I wanted to. 

You see in 2013 the Central Board of Secondary Education introduced two new subjects: Legal studies and Theatre studies. The standard system to create a textbook in India is that the Board passes the responsibility to a committee of experienced educators who spend a few years figuring out how badly they can screw with the students. By the time they come to a decision the information they've collected becomes outdated so they spend a few more years 'updating' it. Finally a text book is released and nothing, not a comma or a full-stop is changed in it for at least another decade.  

So what about the time when they're still figuring out what colour they want the cover? Why, for that period of time the teachers are given guidance material on what to teach. The only problem was that the guy who was supposed to write this material had clearly taken one too many casual leaves. In the end, what we got was a set of pages copied right out of Wikipedia. We were each given a copy and told to use it as our textbook, giving it the same importance and care. I lost mine on the second day.

So back to the day before my cancelled exam, I was actually pretty relaxed. The day after the strike was supposed to be our chemistry exam and I was worried about that one. You see in 10th grade, chemistry was my favourite substance. The transformation of one substance to another filled me with an alchemical fascination. In 11th grade, the transformation of a boring class to an insufferable one filled me with just plain disgust. And that was when I wasn't snoring in the back.

I was pretty sure though that that exam would be postponed and the theatre exam conducted in its stead. So imagine my shock coming to school the day after the festivities to see everyone sticking their noses in their chemistry textbooks. 

To this day, I have no idea what I wrote that day. All I remember is scribbling in something about atoms and valence bonds and handing the paper in.

Now there is nothing more comforting after a terrible exam than to find out your friends did just as bad. There were three of us who slept on the back bench; Daemon, Gautham and me. The day after that fateful exam we were all three of us sitting there with our hands to our heads, mulling over our fates.

"Gautham?" I said.

"Yeah?" Gautham replied.

"Do you think I could stay at your place for a while? I think my parents will probably throw me out once my results come."

"I might need a new place myself," He replied miserably.

"You could stay with me," Daemon said.

"Won't your granny mind?"

"Oh no, I'm not entirely sure she knows I'm staying with her."

In life there are always moments of absolute peace where you think nothing could go wrong. It's a trap. Something can always go wrong and usually life makes you happy just before kicking you in the balls. They always feed you before the slaughter.

Lucky for us, we had nearly a month's vacation before our funerals and we were determined to celebrate them as fully as possible. Besides, there might just be a 'surprise festival' on our Report Card day. You never know with these things.