To the Moon and Back

KABANATA 9

"Pagkakataon mo na 'yan Apollo. Papayag ka bang makawala ulit 'yung childhood sweetheart mo?" pabirong wika ni Clark, ang matalik na kaibigan ni Apollo. They were best friends practically since birth.
Nakasalampak ngayon si Apollo sa top deck ng kanilang double-deck habang walang tigil sa pang-aasar si Clark na nasa bottom deck. Sabado ngayon kaya't nasa dorm lamang sila. Maalinsangan ang ihip ng hangin na pumapasok mula sa bintana.
"Apollo... naaalala mo ba 'nung kinumbulsyon ka 'nung fifteen pa lang tayo? Para kang tanga no'n, paulit-ulit mong sinasabi 'yung pangalan ni Luna. L-u-u-u-n-a-a-a-a." patuloy pang asar nito. Ginagaya ang mahaba't utal na bigkas ni Apollo noon sa pangalan ni Luna.
"Manahimik ka nga muna Clark!" anito sabay bato rito ng T-shirt na nakabihadhad sa kanyang kama.
"Eh 'yung librong binigay niya sa'yo? Naaalala mo ba na dalawang linggo mo kong hindi kinausap dahil lang natiklop ko 'yung page seven?" hindi ito matinag sa pang-aasar.
Isinubsob ni apollo ang mukha nito sa unan.
"Eh 'nung graduation niyo nu'ng grade six? Naaalala mo ba kung gaano kasama 'yang mukha mo pag-uwi mo kasi hindi mo siya nakita?" ptuloy pang usal nito. Pumalatak ito nang malakas tsk tsk tsk.
"Clark, pwede bang manahimik ka muna!" he retorted sternly. He sat up and took a deep breath.
"Ewan ko sa'yo Pol, pinapairal mo na naman 'yang katorpehan mo!" sabi nito. Bigla nitong inilitaw ag ulo mula sa ibaba.
"Angkulit mo Clark, may iba na ngang gusto si Luna!" he sighed in defeat.
Lumambot ang paningin ni Clark. Nararamdaman niya ang lungkot ng kaibigan.
"Kasalanan mo rin 'yan! Solong-solo mo siya nu'ng grade six. Pero nagsupla-supladuhan ka, 'yan tuloy, nakawala. Akala mo nakakapogi 'yang badboy-badboy-an mo!" mariin nitong sermon.
"Suplado talaga ako, alam mo 'yan Clark!"
"Hindi 'yan excuse. Pwede kanamang maging mabait kay Luna!"
"Hindi ko pa naman alam na gusto ko siya no'n eh... 'tsaka ko lang nalaman... kung kailan huli na." his voice was low and sad and lost.
"Hindi mo pa alam? Eh ba't ka nagalit nu'ng tiniklop ko 'yung page seven?" sanay sa ganiting usapan si Clark.
"Siyempre... ahh... mahalaga 'yon!" he just said.
"Mahalaga 'yon o mahalaga 'yung nagbigay no'n?" mariin niyang tanong.
"Hindi ka nakakatulong, mana-" he was cut short.
"Bakit mo sinasavi 'yung pangalan niya nu'ng kinumbulsiyon ka?"
"Clark, pwe-"
"Duwag ka kasi, aka-"
"Oo na Clark. Duwag ako!" sigaw nito. Saglit na natigilan si Clark. "Hindi ko pa alam dati kung ano si Luna para sa 'kin. Hindi ko alam na gusto ko siya. 'Pag ngumingiti siya napapangiti na rin ako. Kahit masungit siya't maingay, 'pag nag-joke siya, kahit gaano ka-corny, natatawa ako... Hindi ko nga lang pinapakita. I knew she wasn't just a seat mate. She qas more than a classmate. Pero hindi ko pa alam no'n kung ano. I know she was something, but I don't know then what that something was. Bata pa 'ko para do'n. Pati si Luna. Bata pa siya. I was captivated but I never knew how. I was under her spell but I never know until now. How she can affect me with her little actions is beyond my understanding. I never knew I like her until I saw her again that day. Sayang. Huli na 'ko. Wala na siyang nakikita kundi si Sir. Wala na siyang kilala kundi si Sir. Her heart was taken whole. Parang may nakasulat na ro'n na para lang kay Sir 'yung puso niya. No matter how hard I try, hindi niya 'yon nakikita. She thought ahe was bound for Sir, kaya sinara niya na 'yung puso niya. No space for new-comers..." he said in one breath. His eyes were a pair of grieving spheres. Malungkot ang mga iyon. Kagaya ng kanyang tinig, malalim, malungkot, malamig, nasasaktan.
Clark was partially surprised with what he just heard. Hindi ito madalas na nagsasabi ng nararamdaman nito. It was the first time he saw Apollo this sad actually.
He gulped deep and loud. Apollo was motionless, mentally playing his mind the things he and Luna had done together. Mga assignment, project, mga thesis. Mga lunch break, mirienda, pati mga midnight snacks tuwing may sleepover.
Clark's lips crept into a weak smile. He gave his friend a reasauring pat on his back. An act of comforting. An act that says he cares.
"Maswerte pa rin ako na kahit sa school lang, we can still be alone, just me and her. Kahit na lagi pa rin niyang binabanggit 'yung pangalan ni Sir. At least I'm physically right beside her." marahang usal ni Apollo. The coldness of his voice wasn't leaving him. The despair was lingering to every word.
Nasa tabi na ngayon ni Apollo ang kaibigan. He was staring at him, reading the loneliness drawn on his face. Trying to find the words that would fit. Trying to find the words that would take Apollo out of the pit of misery he was burried in... but he failed
"'Tol..." was all he said. Inakbay nito ang braso sa balikat ni Apollo, leaving everything to his gestures to comfort his friend.
Tumingala si Apollo, ibinaling nito ang tingin sa katabi at ngumiti. It was fake. It was fragile. But it worked anyway.
"Ambaduy natin men!" he said. And Clark broke into hysterics. He knew Apollo for too long, and he knows it very well, he knew Apollo won't give up without a fight.