The BoyBand Project- Loving Zac

Close but Almost Is Never Enough

-MIRA'S POV-

I didn't know what it was about the simple text message from Mathias that was so reassuring but I automatically smiled, making Nick stare at me. Showing him the text he gave me a half smile and laughed shaking his head.

"You have any idea what he's up to?"

"None"

I started laughing through all the tears that had been falling while talk to Nick. He had surprised me in two ways. One- he came over to comfort me. Two- unlike all of the other guys, he used the front door. Deciding I hadn't spent enough time with my closest friend in the band, we curled up on the couch, cuddling with the bowl of popcorn that separated us, and watched a Harry Potter marathon on ABC Family. In the middle of The Goblet of Fire, my mom came home, surprised to see Nick there.

"Hey sweetie! Oh hi Nick! I haven't seen you in a while."

"Yeah I just came over to comfort- umf!"

I elbowed him quickly in the stomach, trying to hint that my mother had no idea about what happened with Zac. I tried to keep her out of it because you know mothers, they always want to help. I love her for that but that was one struggle I had to get through without her. Obviously not catching my glance or my physical hint, Nick continued.

"Ouch... like I was saying I was comforting Mira so I decided to take her mind off of things."

"Off of what things?"

"Ohhhh she doesn't know, that's why you-ouch!"

Nick whispered to me after I had witnessed he was seriously horrible at knowing when not to speak. Sighing I attempted to tell my mom about what happened with Zac without crying but that failed and tears began to pour down my face.

"Mom, we- we were just hanging out! He's too old for me anyways!"

Being better at hints than Nick she gave me hug and gave Nick money to take me out for ice cream.

"Thanks mom."

•••••••

"You did WHAT? Hahahahaha!"

Holding my stomach I couldn't help but belch out a loud laugh causing the people in the Ben & Jerry's ice cream shop to stare.

"It's really not that funny."

Mathias took another sip of his milkshake before grunting and leaning back on the booth seats. Nick and I both got slightly curious to what Mathias meant by "to the rescue" in his text so we invited him for ice cream with us. He had told us that he was stuck 'dating' my freak-of-nature ex best friend until she apologized on her blog. It was brilliant and sweet of him but I could tell by the non-amused expression on his face that he wasn't looking forward to the next couple of days.

"Oh- oh but it is! Haha but I love you for it."

*buzz buzz*

It was a text from Brandon.

-You want ice cream?-

~Handled that, I'm @ Ben & Jerry's w/ nick & Mathias.~

-NOW?!-

~Yes Brandon. Now. Wait... what did you do...~

-I'm so sorry.-

Staring at the text in horror, I immediately turned around and watched the door. My suspicions were confirmed when Levi, Brandon and Zac entered the ice cream shop. Automatically catching my evil/shocked glare, Brandon mouthed and apology before trying to steer the group to the other half of the shop. Thanks to my luck, it was too late because Zac had already made full blown eye contact with me, Nick and Mathias. I turned around and looked at Mathias who had the same 'holy shit' look as I did. Whipping around as if nothing had happened I tried to play it cool.

"Nick. Can we go?"

"Definitely."

Grabbing my purse I did my best impression of speed walking as I dashed out of the door.

"Well that was awko-taco."

"Haha yes. Yes it was."

Just as I was about to get in the car I heard my name being called from behind me. I froze in my steps, knowing the voice much too well. I turned around slowly only to see Zac running full speed towards the car.

"Shitshitshitshitshitshit... Umm hi Zac"

I couldn't help but lean my weight from one foot to another awkwardly, I wasn't expecting him to say anything to me.

"Hey.."

Looking down at the ground, I could tell he had something he wanted to say other than 'hey' so I kept my mouth closed.

"Uhm I'm sorry I made you cry so much. I'm sorry for the way everything happened. I care about you a lot still and I don't like seeing you hurt."

I felt tears burning the back of my eyes but I refused to break down.

"Oh. It's okay."

"Yeah.. uhm.. I already miss you.. a lot, we almost had something."

The words burned into my brain and shattered the little pieces of heart I had left. We almost had something? So what was the last three years of my fucking life spent doing? Almost having something apparently. I could feel the tears about to fall so I took a step back.

"Well. Almost is never enough."

The words leaving my mouth made it even harder to keep my composure so I gave a faint smile and got into the car. Pulling dark brown shades out of my purse I slid them on and took a deep breath.

•Don't you dare cry Mira. Don't you fucking dare.•

Turns out it was too late because as soon as the thought had surfaced, tears had already fallen.

"What happened?"

Clearing my throat I looked in the drivers seat at Nick.

"Well Nick... I learned something right now. We almost had something. We almost were unbreakable... But almost is never enough..."

Placing the shades back over my eyes I leaned against the window and replayed the previous events in my head.

•Almost...•

The word constantly replayed in my mind on the way home.

~Levi, you got a minute?~

-For you ill make it 2. Whats up?-

~Almost...~

-Wait what?-

~He said we almost had something. ALMOST. ~

-Ouch. Maybe that's not what he meant..-

~ Yeah & I lay golden eggs. ~

-Touché. So what now?-

~ I don't even think an apology can fix this one. Even if he begs me, I can't stay with him knowing he doesn't trust me... can I?~

-I don't know ... well do you want to throw away the fact that you 2 were almost gonna get married and were almost like a married couple already? You love the kid.-

~yeah but like I told him. Almost is never enough... and we were so close to being forever... so close...~

Closing my eyes I thought about what our love had come to.

•Did I still love him? Maybe it was never love in the first place. But it was something like that. Strong like it, beautiful like it and it hurt like it too. Maybe Zac was right... Maybe we almost had something.•