The BoyBand Project- Loving Zac

A few weeks later

A few weeks had passed since Zac left to go back home. In the 4 weeks he'd been gone, id only gone and visited him twice. Despite the everyday phone calls, texts and video chatting, I missed him way too much.

I guess those stupid romance books my mom made me read were right.

Losing your virginity makes you clingy.

I tried my best not to show my clingy ways to Zac. We were already complete opposites and he already had every reason to think I'm a weirdo and brush me off. I didn't need to add fuel to flames if you know what I mean. Although Zac still had a stick up his butt about why Brandon made me nervous.

Look, it's not like I want to marry the kid. I don't even like him in that way. Sure he's Justin Bieber style hot, but then again I'm not that into JB. He just makes me uncomfortably nervous, through no fault of his own. The way he's so cool and collected yet he screams 'superstar'. His demeanor is intriguing yet terrifying.

But I must admit, it must be hard for Zac to deal with my closeness with the band. I mean I practically tell Nick everything, he knows things I've still failed to tell Zac. Mathias and I have deep conversations about .. Well... life. Me and Levi have so many inside jokes, it's ridiculous. Brandon.. Well he makes me nervous, which we already established, is bugging the hell out of Zac. The world and beyond knows that me and anyone from the band has NOTHING going on bigger than a friendship. But did Zac know? Did he know he was all I could ever dream of? Did he realize.. He was my Prince Charming? Freaking out I texted Zac something I immediately regretted.

~I love you. Not Brandon. Not Nick. Not Levi. Not Mathias. I love you. No one else. Just you, forever. To infinity and beyond. You know that.. right?~

I hesitated, contemplating if I should send the text or not. I finally sent it and automatically began to doubt the chance of a 'good' conversation coming from that text. After what seemed like hours- really 13 minutes- of waiting, my phone vibrated, indicating a text.

-babe.. You okay? Why are you telling me this? You sound like you're reassuring yourself more than me.-

Damnit! He was right, it did kinda sound that way. What do I say to that?

~ What? No no, I was just thinking about something's and... I mean I know that you could do way better than me.. You picking me, a crazy fan girl I may add, over every other girl chasing is unbelievable. It's no secret that you're too good for me. Not just because of your superstardom but because.. You are the kindest! Sweetest, most amazing human being ever and I'm awkward, weird, shy, and silly. I'm clingy and .. A mess tbh. I just want you to know that even though I don't have as many options as you, if I did, you'd still be the one and only. ~

I read over the text, fixing errors and everything, before sending it. A tear threatened to fall because I realized how much I needed Zac in my life. Attempting to blink the tear away, I pressed send and waited for a response. I was thinking something along the line of "you talk too much, I realize I can do better, peace"

The text I got back? Yeah nothing like that.

- you're crazy, do you know that? Completely fucking insane. Baby, you're the sun and I'm the moon. I couldn't shine without you. I might as well not exist without you because I'm invisible without you. The way you stared at me that night on stage.. You picked me. It wasn't really my choice to fall in love with you, baby it just happened. And now you're sitting there sending me crazy ass text messages, rambling about all the things that make me love you more. Yea, you're pretty awkward. It's cute. The way you blush when you're in awkward situations is cuter. Okay so you're shy, I don't care. That's not a problem because you finally opened up to me. I love every new thing I find out about you. Like the way you won't do dishes when someone's in the kitchen because then you can't dance around. The way you bite your lip when you're nervous or the way your eyes light up like a 5 year old in a candy store when I promise you things. I'm not worried about other people. I don't have time because I'm focused on you. I'm focused on loving you until the day you don't love me back and then missing you afterwards. Ok? So chill.-

I didn't breathe the whole time reading the text. I changed my signature shades of red and chills ran down my spine. I realized I'd been smiling so much that my cheeks hurt and at one point I start crying. I could tell because of my wet pillow case and the dampness of my cheeks. I thank god everyday for that boy. I really do.