There's More: A Black and Grey Compilation (BWWM)

Colorful Dreams Part Three

Black

"Where are we are we Tamera?" The doctor asked and Tam was silent but a frown appeared on her face.

"I don't want to be here," Tam whispered. Dr. Wilkins looked back at Teddy and he nodded for her to allow Tam to continue.

"Where are you Tam?"

Everything went black except for this light. As she got closer to the light she realized there was a mirror and the reflection was causing this light. She looked in the mirror and instead of seeing herself now she was wearing the clothes from that day. Her face was stained from her tears. The old version of herself stepped out for the mirror only enough to grab Tam's hand.

"I know you don't want to relive it but I need you to remember and let him know," the past version of Tam explained before pulling Tam into the mirror with her.

"New York ... after I left," Tam said with a small uneasy voice. Teddy looked at the hurt look on Tam's face and he almost advised that she be pulled from the dream but again he was too curious to be kind.

"I've never hurt so much," she whispered and then went into an even deeper sleep. The door was jammed to her dream she had to force it open.

It was the first night that she was in her mom's loft style apartment. She was in bed sobbing uncontrollably. She had so many thoughts running through her head but the major thought was that she was wrong.

"Was I wrong?" She asked herself. She couldn't stop crying and she didn't want her mom to see her like this so she tried to sob quietly. However, her mother knew she was hurting so she entered the room. At first she didn't say anything she just rubbed Tam's back until she was able to collect herself.

"Sweetheart I know you're hurting but maybe this was for the best. You always seemed so dependent on Teddy. He's not your whole world sweetheart. You need to learn to become a vibrant independent woman," her mother advised and Tam simply snorted.

"I can't talk about this right now Mom," Tam explained. Her mother had told her of her concern regarding her closeness to Teddy and normally she would tell her in the nicest way where to stick it but right now she didn't have the energy.

"I know but at least now you can go on with your life the way you intended. Finish up school for journalism. Maybe take a few fashion courses and lose that ten pounds we were talking about." Her mother cooed and Tam turned toward her mother to scowl at her.

"Oh really is that really how I intended my life to go? What are you doing right now?" Tam flipped out. "Mom, I just broke up with my very best friend and the man I ... whatever can I just sleep!" Imani was trying to help but she was only making the situation worse. She was making Tam remember how strained her relationship was with her mother and a big part of her was regretting coming to her for solace.

"I know sweetheart, trust me I know what all of this feels like. It's really hard but this is the time to reevaluate and make your life better."

"You mean forget about your old life and everyone in it that's what you did mom. Most of the time I honestly though you forgot about me," Tam spewed her venom at her mother and immediately regretted it but couldn't apologize for it. Her mother was hurt but she understood. Tam was hurting and she unloading on her it wasn't how she really felt. Imani waited for her daughter to say sorry but the apology never came. Tam went to lay back down and turn her back on her mother. It was then Imani went into defensive mode.

"Even though I wasn't physically there for part of you growing up Tam, I was always accessible. You could've reached out to me," Imani explained.