Criminal Minds Imagines

Why so angry? *Hotchner* || Smut

"Close the door." I hear Aaron say as i walk in his office.
"I know what this is about and I'm not going to apologize, because I'm not sorry." I tell him as a close the door.
"Y/L/N, are you out of your mind? I gave you a specific order to wait for back up and you went over my word and put you and the hostages in danger. You didn't follow the protocol and you know i will have to report that." He tells me and i open my mouth to speak in defense.

"Hotch, if i waited, we both know he would've killed that boy. It was a calculated risk and i took it, why are you so tensed up about? I saved those kids lives." I sit down and i can see it in his eyes that he doesn't agree with me.

"And what if Morgan didn't got in time. He would've killed you and those boys." He tells me angrily.
"But Morgan did got in time and no one is dead. Let's stop with the what ifs and look at the facts. Come on Hotchner, you and me both know he wouldn't have killed me, based on his profile, based on my knowledge of body language. That's why you took me on this team right? Cause I'm the best when it comes to body language. Report all you want, i still won't apologize for my actions." I look at him and can read it on his face that he's not angry because i didn't follow the protocol, he's angry because i went over his order and i will not give him the satisfaction to hear my apology for something I'm genuinely not sorry about.

"We act like a team, Y/l/n, and i can't trust you if you don't follow my orders. You are my responsibility and i need to make sure everyone in this team is safe and i can't do that with you going over my word."

"But the team wasn't in any type of danger, Hotch, you know I did the right thing in that moment." I sigh looking at him.
"You are part of this team. Goddammit Y/l/n, when are you gonna get it?" He asks lightly squeezing his punch under the desk trying to control himself.

I just look at him and can't say anything because I'm still trying to figure out what is up with him. When i first got on this team he was really protective over me and then he stopped pairing me with him and started making me work with Morgan or Rossi or any other member of this team. Lately he lashes at me with every chance he has.

I stand up and to to the door.
"You know what your problem is?" I say right before handling the knob because i just can't seem to shut up.
He raises his brows and waits for me to continue.
"You're too afraid to let people in." I speak and i seem to have caught his attention.
"What makes you think that?" He asks and i look around in his office.

"Well the obvious been the loss of Hayley, and then Beth and I'm not trying to pretend i know what happened because i don't, but when i got here i could notice your genuine interest in me and i won't even give you arguments because we both know I'm right-"
"Oh no, please give me." He interrupts amd behind his serious expression i can see a little smile in the corner of his lips telling me he's enjoying this.
"Well for starters your legs, were always appointed to me, even when i wasn't the one doing the talking, your face, just like now was more relaxed and your eye pupils were more dilated. You didn't cross your arms when you were talking to me sending me messages you don't want to put up walls which meant you liked talking to me. But then all of a sudden, you started ignoring me, assigning me with the others and i kept asking myself if it was because of something i did. It's clear now that you're afraid to let people in. You always play by the book and that one time when you didn't you lost a dearest person, but that's why it's called 'risking'. If you were to play by the book you would've lost Jack too. So take it from me, it's ok not to play by the book sometimes." I see him stare at me and i sigh.

"It's called following the protocol amd the protocol it's in everyone's interest." He tells me but i can tell he doesn't believe himself either.
"Bullshit." I walk towards his desk laying both my palms on it giving him a perfectly good view of my cleavage.